Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, Tom Levy to you. Thank you for coming out and joining this evening over to Islip. Our flight time is going to be two hours. In command of our aircraft tonight is Captain Justin. He's assisted this evening by First Officer Michael, your cabin staff. George is in the back of the aircraft, Chris at mid-cabin, and Robert up front. We're going to ask you at this time to direct your attention to the flight attendants. I'm going to point out the safety features of the 737-700 series aircraft. Now, ladies and gentlemen, in the event that you have not been in an automobile since 1942, we're going to show you how to fasten this seatbelt. Watch closely. Do this. To unfasten it, you do that. That seatbelt needs to be low and tight across your hips, just like the hot pink Speedo I'm wearing tonight when we get to the hotel undubbed. Folks, you don't like the jokes of service tonight. Six ways out of this airplane. Feel free to use them. There's going to be two forward exit doors, two overwing window exits, and two rear exit doors. There's signs on the ceiling. There's disco lights on the floor. They're going to lead you to these exits. Now, in the seatback pocket in front of you, it's a safety information card. You'll want to read it before you need it. It outlines the safety features of this particular aircraft. Now, in the unlikely event that our captain decides to turn the Love Airlines Southwest Airlines into a cruise this evening, we'll instruct you how to remove the life vest from beneath the seat. Ladies and gentlemen, it's a life vest. It's not a toilet seat cover. It goes over your head. You bring the black strap around your tiny little waist. You snap the two ends together and pull to tighten. To inflate the life vest after you exit the aircraft, you pull down on the red tab. Those of you that have to do absolutely everything the most difficult way, and those overachievers, will you blow into that red tubing located at the shoulder? The very best of luck to you with that, but then keep kicking and paddling over to the cabin shore. We'll be behind you shortly. You're going to be able to recognize the cabin staff. We're the ones toting that liquor kit. Now, folks, the gentlemen are passing through the cabin at this time because, simply and frankly, we do not trust you. We have trust issues. We're ensuring that your handbag is beneath the seat. Seat back, service tray full upright, long position. Your handbag all the way underneath the seat and that your cellular phone is being used, not for texting or for a video at this time. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you again for traveling with us. This is a non-smoking flight. If you have to have a cigarette this evening before we land, we have two entertainment lounges for you. One's out there on that left wing, the other one directly across the hallway on the right wing. You think you're talented enough to light it? You can certainly try and smoke it. But the rest of us, we're going to enjoy two feature films this evening, Gone with the Wind and Bye Bye Birdie. Very simple, very easy. Don't be naughty in the potties and leave the webcam alone in there or you'll end up on YouTube next week. Folks, $2,200 for tampering with the smoke detector in these lavatories. And you know, if you had $2,200, you'd be on American Airlines back over there to Iceland this evening in first class. Now, the gentlemen and I, we certainly wouldn't have shown up for work tonight if we'd anticipated a decompression, but in the event of a decompression, four saffron yellow buttercup masks designed by Gucci and Martha Stewart, well, they're going to drop from that compartment overhead. And to start the flow of the alcohol, you have to first stop screaming. You have to let go of the person next to you. You reach up and grab that mask, full-extension plastic tubing. You place it over your big nose and mouth and you continue wearing that mask and breathing normally until otherwise notified by one of your three fabulously dressed flight attendants. Now, ladies, if I can have your attention again. Ladies, for those of you traveling with someone that's going to need your assistance, and ladies, you know whom I'm exactly talking about. Yes, ma'am, him, that very dear husband of yours. Darling, when the masks fall, you may want to take my advice. Sit back, relax, think about it for a bit. Some more diamonds, diamonds. For those of you traveling with your children, why? And for those of you back there traveling with two of your children, what in the world were you thinking tonight? When those masks fall, put the mask on the bright one. That one's going to contribute to your retirement most successfully. Folks, we thank you so much for sharing your night with us. Do us a favor, sit back, relax, and enjoy our in-flight hospitality, or you can sit up in a few tents. That choice is yours. The pleasure to serve you tonight, it is most definitely ours. Now we've got one final message for you before we depart. We love you, you love us. We're much faster than a bus. We hope you enjoy our hospitality. Marry one of us and you'd flight free. Two hours to think about that wedding proposal, but you need to know, one of us is a little higher maintenance than the other two. We love you.