Speaker 1: Scene 1. Exterior. Cornfield. Sunset. Jacob stands in the middle of a cornfield. A strange vibe hangs in the air. Something is very wrong. He looks out over the crops. A conflict burns deep within him. He rubs his mother's necklace. I guess today is the day. Garbage. Awful. Let's dive into it. So for one, it's not in screenplay format. Yeah, you've heard this one. You're rolling your eyes, I know. That was me three years ago. As long as I use Google Docs and center the dialogue, I'll be fine, right? No. The dialogue in a screenplay isn't just centered. It starts at a specific indent. See the difference? Get Scenerist. It's free. It's easy. This is not a sponsorship, but if you happen to work for Scenerist, I'll service you. I mean, you can pay me and I'll do what I'm doing now, but longer. Savvy? This is non-negotiable. You look like a dweeb. But some formatting things aren't solved by the software. The first time you introduce a character, capitalize their name. I usually tack a little 35m or 62f on there. It's more efficient than writing, A man in his mid-30s. Efficiency is everything. If you take one and only one thing away from this video, let it be this. A screenplay isn't supposed to be a good read. It isn't supposed to be a work of art in and of itself. It's supposed to be a template for something that will happen on a screen. What in the balls? Every time you write a line like, It just looks wrong. Or the vibe is off. Or a strange feeling washes over her. Just imagine an actor, a director, a composer, and a production designer standing over your script, taking turns curb stomping it, and laughing hysterically at your absurd flowery prose. If it isn't obvious how a thing will manifest in the final product, you need to change it. And I mean obvious. Ooh, it was so complex. I had to read it 45 times to fully understand it. Might apply to a book. But that is the worst thing you can hear as a screenwriter. Studio executives don't have time to decode your shit. You need to spoon feed them. That is the reality of it. Instead of, A strange vibe hangs in the air. Say something like, There is haze in the air. Or we hear a creepy high-pitched synth. Take your subjective vibe and break it down into objective component parts. That way the filmmakers can read your script and know precisely what the hell you're talking about. Quickly. Full sentence is optional. Get your information across. But what if I'm trying to be mysterious? Look at me. Intrigue is not the same as confusion. You do want to intrigue your reader. But you do not want to confuse them. Ever. If you want something to be mysterious, literally just come out and say you are emitting information on purpose. Don't make the reader go back like, Wait, did I miss something? Did they mention his mother earlier? Hold the reader's hand. If a new element is being introduced, make it abundantly clear that the element is new and that this is the first time we're meeting it. Necklace should be capitalized. And Jacob rubs his mother's necklace is bad in more ways than one. It might feel like the correct way to do this line. It introduces Jacob's connection with his mother. It distills that connection into a simple object. What's the issue? Well, the issue is that this is a screenplay. First of all, how will the original owner of the necklace be revealed on screen? The audience in the theater isn't reading along. They have their eyes and they have their ears. That's it. You have two ways of delivering information. Oh, well, you know, I thought I would just put that in there for the actor. Nope. This isn't a guide for the actor's psychology. Long before an actor is even cast as Jacob, a network executive will have to read this thing, and that executive is not thinking like an actor. Furthermore, if the owner of this necklace is revealed at any point later in your script, then you're good. The actor will learn and incorporate this into their performance of prior scenes. Trust the actors. And remember, you are not immersing the audience in a POV. You are providing a blueprint for something that will happen on a screen. That's it. Replace a conflict burns deep within him with he cries or he paces anxiously. An actual tangible thing that the filmmakers can use. If this doesn't sit right with you, maybe you secretly don't want to write a screenplay. Maybe you're more drawn to prose. That's cool, but this isn't the video for you. A slug line is what you call this thing with interior versus exterior, location and day versus night. There are two types of writers who put shit like sunset at the end of theirs. One, writers with 80 million dollar budgets who know they can spare the resources to spend two extra days at a location shooting a four-page dialogue scene during a 15-minute window of sky conditions. And two, writers who have never set foot on a film set. If you're the first one, go off. If you're the second one, you get two options. Day and night. I directed a scene at sunrise one time. I managed to get one shot done and then it was day. I also had a crew of nine. Imagine trying to pull this off with a crew of 100 and a fleet of Haddad trailers. Impossible? No. But risky and liable to be ruined by the smallest of delays. Now, look at this first line after the slug line. It's repeating information. You just said we were in a field. You don't need to say it again. In conclusion, here's my original scene and here's what I transformed it into. If this felt like a rude awakening to you, good. That was my plan. I'm not here to preach philosophical rules to you. I'm just telling you what works and what doesn't from my own experience. If you're just writing a screenplay for fun, you obviously aren't beholden to the attention spans of other people. I did jump right into the screenplay stuff, but this video is predicated on the idea that you've already blocked out your story beat for beat, decided to write it for the screen, and are moving into the execution phase. For more general storytelling tips, check out these two videos. I'll put them at the end. They go into depth about character creation, conflict, backstory, and dialogue. Oh, and I finally got around to creating a Patreon. If you'll recall, I hesitated to do that because I was afraid I didn't have anything to offer people, but now I do. If you support me on Patreon, you'll get early access to my upcoming YouTube videos, and you'll also have access to videos that will never be on YouTube, cross my heart and hope to die. You think I would make my video essay class free? Yeah, I know. Be skeptical. You can and you should, but I put a lot of work into it. It talks about gaming the shmalgorithm and capitalizing on consumer psychology. I promise it's not just,

Speaker 2: Yes, you have to buy a nice microzone and upload consistently. Anyway, that's it. Love you. Bye.