Speaker 1: Boundaries on the job after a work-related affair. Hello, I'm Dr. Carol Erb, and I'm going to talk to you about the importance of boundaries on the job after a work-related affair. If you like this video, I'd love for you to subscribe by clicking the subscribe button below. If your spouse has had a work-related affair, the news of it probably came as quite a shock to you. Whether you found out on your own or they disclosed it to you, it hurt more than you could ever explain. But perhaps you and your spouse are willing to put the time into restoring trust and healing in your marriage. That is a commendable decision, and it can really be difficult to make it. It can also be helpful to know how to set appropriate boundaries on the job. Therefore, you need to know that your spouse is being faithful to you when they're at work. In doing so, they will need to be doing their part to provide you with a sense of security you need while on the job. It's important to have a favorite coworker at the office or on the job, but your spouse should not choose a favorite. Doing so puts your marriage in jeopardy because it can lead to communications that can quickly become inappropriate. When a spouse has had a work-related affair, they should maintain clearly drawn lines that you set, and your spouse in the opposite sex should never spend any time alone with each other. There can be no physical contact except perhaps an appropriate handshake, and they should avoid any type of behavior that you would not approve of. That includes getting into the elevator with another member of the opposite sex, going for walks, texting, and minimizing business travel. After a spouse has had an affair, they will do well to eliminate or greatly reduce time that allows for one-on-one interaction with a member of the opposite sex. They must take your sense of security and safety extremely seriously. Women, by default, really are good listeners, and men recognize this, and this is why so many men gravitate towards women they work with. In addition to being more discreet in many ways, women at work provide men with someone they can confide in. Your spouse should commit to not sharing anything about your marriage with another woman. So whether that means venting about something that bothers them or sharing something that they have had only previously shared with you, providing any type of information like that is only a way to build intimacy with someone who is not their spouse. There may be some jobs that offer flexible hours or even require late nights or early mornings, but for the most part, your spouse probably has a start time and a stop time at their job. Your spouse should be willing to make a commitment to you to come home immediately after work. So many affairs start because the husband uses the excuse of having to work late. If your spouse truly does have to work late, it's not unreasonable to ask him to be in communication with you frequently during that time. That way, you can feel more assured that your spouse's lateness is truly because of something unavoidable at work. Perhaps you're in this situation yourself, and your spouse recently disclosed a work-related affair. It's understandable how you feel, and the pain that you're having is very real. But please know that healing is possible. You may be in a position where both you and your spouse are willing to work through the affair so that you can possibly reconcile, or you may be contemplating a separation. It's also possible you're not sure what to do or where to turn. The Word of God has so much to say about your situation. God has healing in store for you, and together, we can take the steps to see that healing is manifested in your life. The road you're on may seem lonely and endless right now, but you can go from betrayal to healing. If you like this video, I'd love for you to subscribe, and thank you so much for watching. Continue to stay tuned. I'll have more for you, but bye for now.