Speaker 1: Well, I hope everyone had a good weekend. I know you had a big term paper due last Friday, so hopefully you rewarded yourselves with a little rest and relaxation. Unfortunately, I, uh... I'm afraid some of you may have relaxed too much and didn't actually write your own papers. In fact, I believe a certain few of you took almost everything right off the Internet. Damn. You have something to say, Danny? No. All right, Karen, let's start with you. Uh, you wrote your paper on war and peace. So, is there a law against that? No, there's not, Karen. But this is the exact same paper, word for word, that you can buy for $15 on termpaper.com. It even has the same title and footnotes. Maybe they copied my paper. I don't think they did. They might have. F. Busted. Kirstie. Yeah? A very nicely written paper on a tale of two cities. Thank you. But I think you may have taken it from a website called dickenscholar.com. Do you know why I think that? Because you like to be wrong? No, but an interesting guess. I think that because the upper left-hand corner of each page says dickenscholar.com. God, I knew my plan was too perfect. Your plan wasn't too perfect, Kirstie. It was wildly imperfect. You also have an F. Hey, man, I know where you're going next. I didn't get my paper off the Internet. All those words are mine. Well, technically, Danny, you're somewhat right. Your paper on the Great Gatsby begins with what seems to be an e-mail that you wrote to your older brother. It reads, Hey, bro, you remember Mr. Butthole's class? I have my final paper due, and I was wondering if you have an old copy of yours anywhere. If you do, I'd like to put my name on the top of it and turn it in as my own. How's college? Talk to you later, skater. Danny. You shouldn't read other people's e-mails, dude. You shouldn't submit them to teachers. You also get an F. Oh, damn, where did I go wrong? Oh, I think it's pretty clear where you went wrong. But for future reference, you might want to copy the content of the paper into a Word document rather than printing it straight off the Hotmail web page. That makes it pretty clear that it was an e-mail. You... You are good, dude. Not really. Oh, Peter, I don't really know what to say to you. Then, uh, don't say anything, man. Hmm, well, I'm afraid I can't do that. You were supposed to write a paper on the book 1984. That's what I did. No, you didn't. Yeah, man, I did. You most certainly didn't. Then, uh, what's that in your hand? It's a seven-page paper that seems to have been printed directly off ESPN.com. Um, the book 1984 is never mentioned. Oh, there are also some pictures of Mike Piazza, which I doubt you took. Yeah, well, I did take them. Oh, well, then your name must be Phil Steins, and you must work for the Associated Press, because that's who the photos are credited to. That's right. So your name is both Peter Reed and Phil Steins? Yup. Oh, nice. And you work for the AP. That's the deal, man. Well, how about I call the AP and verify that you work there? See it yourself. Ha, nice. Oh, hey, what's your work number, Phil Steins? 5550179. What can I do for you, Mr. Steins? Can I go to the bathroom? No, you can't. Ahem, Associated Press. Hello, I was hoping you could help me out. Yeah, I'll try. Um, do you have a photographer named Phil Steins who is also a high school student who calls himself Mr. Steins? No, I don't. Oh, I see. Okay, I'll call him. Okay. Hello, Mr. Steins. Hello, Mr. Steins. He's also a high school student who calls himself Peter Reed? Yes, indeed. Well, thank you. You've been very helpful. Um, there's a certain young man I owe an apology to. Well, you better go do that. Okay. Oh, one last thing. What is the Associated Press? An association of magazines and newspapers or maybe a kind of machine. Like perhaps a camera. Okay, thanks. That's what I thought. Goodbye. That was awesome. That was nice. Hey, uh, so what's my grade? You're also getting an F for cheating. What? What? How did you do that? Are you psychic? One last tip, okay? Don't high five each other every time you think you pull one over on me. It doesn't help your cause. Damn. Also, anyone who copied a user review off of Amazon will be getting an F. Aw, man. Oh, my God.