Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to the virtual virtual Cache Valley Community Writing Center today. Um I, this is Emily Joy and I am very sad I'm not able to be with you all over Zoom for these past couple of weeks. Sadly I have a class on Wednesday evenings which means that I'm not able to attend and so Jack was very kind in letting me put together this pre-recorded presentation and so that's what I will be presenting on today. So today we're going to be going over balance, dialogue, description, and action. I know in the text that was sent out it was mostly focused on setting and action, but as I really dove in and started researching this topic more, I realized that there's a little more to it than that, and so I decided to break it up into three sections consisting of dialogue, description, and action. And I think when we get into it, you'll see why a little bit later. So let's jump right in. What do I mean when I'm talking about dialogue, description, and action? I've provided examples for all of these and further examples in the presentation, and because it is the blessed month of October, I love spooky things, and so I tried to pull from Halloween texts more or less, so I hope you enjoy that. But let's start with dialogue. When I'm talking about dialogue, I'm talking about conversation that's happening between two or more characters. This can also include internal dialogue, although that rides a fine line between description and dialogue, but I'm going to include it in this category. So an example is what I have below. So we have, yes I wonder what if perhaps your grandfather had not recovered at all Evelyn gasped so there we have two characters talking back and forth when I'm talking about description I'm talking about um presenting the reader I love this with pictorial representation of a place of a person a scene etc so the example I have for that comes from my little picture book, Master Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes, but the thunder rumbles. Right, we're presenting the scene, we're giving atmosphere and mood to the reader by describing the thunder. And lastly we've got action, which is when characters are moving the plot or character development forward through doing something. So again this is either moving the plot or character development forward. The example I have here are five people went into the kitchen, tea was made, and drunk by Vera and Bloor. So we've, oh that's supposed to say and, my apologies. So right there we've got very quick action, we're trying to move through this plot, people went into the kitchen, some tea was made, these people drink it, we're moving on, right? So that's what I'm talking about when I mentioned balancing dialogue, description, and action in our presentation today. So why is finding balance important? I think it's good to start with this question and after researching and reading I felt like finding balance is a lot like putting together a music album. Now I personally have never put together a music album but I love listening to music and when you listen to a full album from an artist you want to have a good variety of compositions otherwise you get bored. I think of classical music does this as well. We have Vivaldi's Four Seasons. You know those are very distinct separate pieces that all have a different theme or mood to bring together the entire composition. I have some examples below but sadly I am not able to get the audio working so I will send these to Jack but my my husband and I were talking about rickrolling the other day and we were curious about listening to his album in which Never Gonna Give You Up is featured in and we started to laugh as we listened to the first three songs and how similar they sounded and so again I'll send those to Jack and maybe he can share those with you but it's I found it funny and made me think about this because if you open up a music album and the first three songs all sound the same, you don't want to listen to the whole album. And that's like our writing. When our reader opens up the book and they find that the whole thing is action or the whole thing is description, they're going to get bored and they're not going to want to finish our work. So that's why balance is important. It affects a lot of different things within your larger work as a whole. So here's a caution, just a heads up, I, and this is personal opinion, but I think that finding balance is something to be done in the revision process, not in the first drafting stages. I think if we are hyper focused on finding balance in our first draft or brainstorming sessions, we're going to get so inside of our heads that the text is going to feel clunky and awkward and it's not going to seem organic. So I think that this is something that we do later once we have some drafts kind of out of our brain. So just a heads up there. So step one, I think it's easier to start with a big picture and then work small. So I think it's helpful to look at our book or novel or poetry or whatever it is as a whole first and decide is this scene or chapter going to be an action scene or a sequel scene. And keep in mind that it's always going to be a blend of the two, but I think that most of the time we're going to be focusing a little bit more on one. One is going to be in the foreground per se. So if we want something to be an action scene, we're focusing on something is happening. We're using dialogue and description or movement to show this action to move it forward. Description and character internalization are at a minimum here. We're not spending time in characters heads trying to figure out what they're thinking or feeling. The action is driven by the point of view character's goal for that scene. We're really picking, I feel like most action sequences or most action scenes are very fast paced. So I have this example from my favorite novel, probably of all time, Frankenstein. And so we have, it was on a dreary night of November that I beheld the accomplishment of my toils. With an anxiety that almost amounted to agony, I collected the instruments of life around me that I might infuse a spark of being into the lifeless thing that lay at my feet. It was already one in the morning. The rain pattered dismally against the panes, and my candle was nearly burnt out, when, by the glimmer of the half-extinguished light, I saw the dull yellow eye of the creature open. It breathed hard, an expulsive motion agitated its limbs." So right there we've got some description, right? We have the rain is pattering, candles are nearly burnt, but again this is at a minimum in in order to move the action forward. We're focusing on Frankenstein bringing his monster to life. So we're trying to get through this action to see what's happening, what's gonna happen next. So this is compared to a sequel scene. Now, a sequel scene. Now, I didn't come up with this name. This was actually taken from a source I was looking at. So you can call it whatever you will, but we'll call it a sequel scene here. So this is when the character or characters are reacting to events that happened in an action scene. So the focus is on decisions or thoughts, mental or emotional reactions to something that has happened. The reader at this time should be building that connection with the character because they want to see how they've reacted, right? So that brings our reader closer to the characters. is where that can really develop. And there's still going to be tension but sometimes the tension is underlying and sometimes it's not even direct, but there's always going to be something there moving us forward. The example I have here is actually from the book Dracula and so at this point um actually we'll just read it here we go. But my very feelings changed to the repulsion and terror when I saw the whole man slowly emerge from the window and begin to crawl down the castle wall, over that dreadful abyss, face down, with his cloak spreading out around him like great wings. At first I could not believe my eyes. I thought it was some trick of the moonlight, some weird effect or shadow. But I kept looking and it could be no delusion. What manner of man is this? Or what manner of creature is it in the semblance of man? I feel the dread of this horrible place overpowering me. I am in fear, in awful fear, and there is no escape for me. I'm encompassed about with terrors that I dare not think of. I love that. So spooky. We can tell though that while there's action happening, the emphasis is what this character is thinking. You know we even have at the beginning my very feelings right so we've got feelings of repulsion, of terror. I love the ending where he talks about how this horrible place is overpowering them. There's no escape so we're really focusing here on tension, on what the character is thinking, on what they're feeling and this is where the reader can really connect to that character as as they're both kind of viewing this action together and maybe feeling some of the same things. So once again, we've got action scenes, we've got SQL scenes. I think it can be helpful when we're trying to find a balance between action and setting and dialogue and description to look at the duality. There's going to be, and I say here, arguably should be, SQLs within action scenes and action within SQL scenes. But you want to stop and think, what is the majority of this scene focused on? What is the purpose of this scene within my work or book or text as a whole? It can be helpful to look at how many action scenes that you have in a row. And especially after a big action sequence, the reader is going to need a break. And that is a great time to maybe include more internal dialogue or some slower paced scenes. It can also be helpful to think about the genre as well. If you think about a mystery genre versus a romance genre, mystery you're going to have a lot more emphasis on the pacing, right? Maybe some points you'll want quick and fast because the characters are feeling nervous, they're trying to figure out who the murderer is compared to a romance which tends to move at a little bit of a slower pace, maybe have a little bit more sequence scenes and descriptions rather than action. I'm thinking mostly of like Pride and Prejudice. It's fantastic because the tension is built up slowly and a lot of it is very subtle, right, compared to Agatha Christie's and then There Were None where we just like dive right in. So think about, are there certain rules to your genre you should be following? I also think it's helpful to look at patterns in books and movies that you love. Pay attention to large action scenes, when they come, how long they are, if there is some brief pausing afterwards. I think that can all help us learn balance. Okay, so once we've identified what a scene or chapter is going to be focused on action or sequence or sequel, excuse me, it's time to delve a little bit deeper and to see if that scene in particular is balanced. We don't want any scene containing too much dialogue or too much description. Placing emphasis on one over the other can alter, I think of it as like a scale, it can alter the scale and therefore altering your pacing and your reader's interest. If something is too fast or confusing, we're going to lose our reader. If something is too slow and it's dragging on, we're also going to lose our reader. So this is where we want to try and balance those skills. So I've broken this up into two categories, too much description or too much dialogue. So if we look at too much description first on this left-hand side, we can identify if there is too much by looking at the pacing. If it is slow, we might need to back off and add some more dialogue in. If the description does not move the plot or character development forward, it should be taken out, arguably. There's always exceptions, right? But everything in our text should be moving the plot or characters forward in one way or another. If the description does not contribute to creating a mood or atmosphere, it might be good to also think about why it might be in there and if it can also be removed. I think this is a this last tale is a really great one. If you can't remember previous lines of dialogue that happened in this scene, there's probably too much description. And I don't know about you, but sometimes this happens for me when I'm reading like 18th century novels for some reason. I feel like I'll forget lines of dialogue as I go through because there's so much description and I may or may not be talking about Charles Dickens there in particular. So that's too much description. If you're finding the pacings off, things are there that are not moving the plot forward or creating a mood, you might want to think about removing them. Now on our right hand side we have if there's too much dialogue, typically we don't know who's in the scene, where the scene is taking place or the general mood of the scene. So this is when it can be really helpful to have somebody read over your text or your script or your work or book, whatever it may be, and identify places where there might be confusion. You might need to back up a little bit, provide some background details or help to help your reader feel included in the text with the characters. So there we have too much description or too much dialogue. When these are out of balance, pacing's off, our novel's off, the reader fills off. So in order to restore that balance, think about what description and dialogue should do. Oh, I just realized I added an ellipses on one side and not the other. Whoops. Let's start with description. What should it do? It should advance the plot, right? Just talked about that. It should orient the reader, the who, what, where, why, or when. This is why if there's too much dialogue, we might need to tone it down and add in some description so we can assist the reader in knowing what's happening, what are our circumstances. You can also think of this as like blocking for like a scene or a movie. This is, you should be setting up, what does the scene look like? What are we looking at as a reader? Description also adds characterization, which is important. It contributes to an atmosphere or mood. And then I like this last one, it relays a character's inner thoughts as well. So it's important in some circumstances, depending on your point of view that you've chosen, it can be important for the reader to know what a character is thinking. And so that's when description can come in handy. Dialogue should be creating tension sometimes between what is said and what isn't said, right? Back to Jane Austen, I think of that a lot. So if you need to increase the tension of a scene, maybe you should think about adding some dialogue. It should also be working to develop a character's voice or personality. And again, this is really important because as a reader, we want to connect with them. We want to know what they're like. And if a character's too bland or there's too much description, we don't feel that we really know their personality at all. It also works to develop character relationships in that same way. And then, of course, dialogue advances the plot. I hope you notice the theme here that hopefully everything should be working with your plot. We don't want anything in there that's just extra fluff, right? So backing up a little bit, we want to find this balance, right, between dialogue and description. And so if there's too much dialogue or too much description, our pacing is going to be off, we're going to have things in there that are confusing to our readers, or maybe things that are not there that leave our readers feeling confused. And so we want to balance this out by thinking about what does description do and what does dialogue do. And when you've identified if your scene is an action scene or a sequel scene, this can really help. Because maybe an action scene, you don't want to focus on developing a character's relationship or personality right now. You want to get some action out. You want the characters to be doing things. And so maybe you're going to rely more on description. Or maybe your book feels really fast-paced and you need to slow it down. Let's make some room for some character development, for some relationship development, right? I think a good rule of thumb here is ask yourself, what am I trying to get across to the reader in this scene and what is my purpose? I think by thinking about those questions and then answering them you can really break down the balance and see if you need more action or or dialogue or description. So again I think it's good to ask ourselves what am I trying to get across to the reader in this scene and what is my purpose? So that's pretty much it for our presentation today. I hope that that was helpful for you in at least thinking about ways to start balancing your dialogue. I have a list of resources here of different blogs or channels or things that I've kind of pulled from and so I you're more than welcome to visit these sites and learn more. I am by no means an expert but I just want to conclude by saying thank you so much everybody. I really appreciate you coming to the Writing Center today and for watching my presentation. I hope you all have a fantastic rest of your Wednesday.