Speaker 1: So, I want to talk about being a workaholic within the research game, and I think it's a really relevant topic. I saw this pop up on my social media this morning in terms of somebody feeling guilty about their work, and, you know, it was somebody that was actually quite prestigious. And I was thinking about this in terms of what it means to be a workaholic within the research game, within the academic game, and, you know, this is a really important topic because we see a lot of people. So one of the problems with the research game is that the work is never ending. It's like being an entrepreneur, right? And you're always growing, you're always building on top of something else. And there is always one more thing that you have to do, one more paper, one more whatever that you have to actually work on. And that never ends. There is an endless supply of work. And even when you pass away, there's going to be an endless supply of work that exists beyond you. And that's the thing that's kind of an interesting idea that it is never ending, you're part of a bigger sort of system of how all of this works. And what ends up happening is that there's no defined boundaries, no limits in terms of how much so that you should work or, or what is enough, right, nobody's going to tell you that this is enough, they're always just going to say to work more to do more. And that's the game with all of this. And so what this ends up doing is create, it creates a sort of culture that it's okay to openly talk about how much you work to put on displays of, you know, to the extent that you work all the time, put on displays that you don't have any boundaries, I work on the weekends, I work at night. You know, I work through all throughout the hours of the evening, I do all nighters all the time, you hear all of this kind of stuff. And this is, this is a sort of an extension of what, you know, undergraduate education was like, where you're pulling all nighters and doing all those kind of things. And it's kind of a bit on the side of sort of machoism, where in masculinity, where you're working, and you're displaying that you are somehow a machine. Now, for a lot of us, that's impossible to do, right, we're human beings, we only can do so much. If you look at almost all the studies of sleep, they all say, you know, six to eight hours or six to 10 hours, depending on who you are, of sleep that you need to function as a human being, we all have to eat, we all have to brush our teeth, we have to do sort of basic functions of what it means to be a human being, we can't work endlessly, simply because we are limited, where we're an organism, right, and that organism does not function unless we do some other things in our life. And so we are faced with this sort of challenge, right, should I work more? Should I not work more? And what often gets sort of wrapped up into the sort of working culture is the culture itself, where because you're competing against other people, and you hear somebody else saying I need to work, then that drives you to feel like you're going to want to work and you sort of want to put on more displays to keep up to feel like you're part of, you know, it's kind of a fun game, because you've heard of this, this game of keeping up with the Joneses. Well, in the academic game, it's keeping up with the Joneses that actually work, right, that is the display of status is how much that you actually work, and to show to other people that you've somehow made it, right, that's the status game, to communicate how much you that you actually work all the time. Now, what we have to sort of remember, is that is somewhat unhealthy behavior to work all the time. And the problem is, is how much that you actually work is very much individual and very specific, right? It's very specific to you in terms of how much that you should work. And it only becomes a problem when you're dependent on it, or that you feel like you have to do something that, that, that, that it is sort of part of who you are, where you are defining yourself around that particular idea that you have to work all the time and you have to put on all of these particular displays. So the comment on social media that really sort of caught me was, this person said that, you know, that they were thinking of themselves as, as sort of a workaholic versus themselves loving to actually work. Now, the problem is, you know, and this is what the comment was, is that alcoholics love to drink, and they love that they feel that they are not an alcoholic because they love to drink. So, of any vice that we have, anything that we do that we would sort of say, Hey, that's uncomfortable. That doesn't sort of make you feel good. There's not a real definition of, you know, drinking too much or, you know, working too much or of, of, of any number of vices that we have. There's not a real definition of being addicted to that kind of stuff. But what there is, is, you know, that it's causing problems in your life when there are unusual stresses that you have. And that's the way that I sort of view it is, is there things in your life that are triggering and making you feel not good? Is there things that are, you know, is there kind of unrest, is there, is there family members that are mentioning this kind of stuff? Is there, you know, sort of whispers and comments or, you know, obviously your workplace is never going to tell you that you work too much, right? Unless you have a very good colleague or friend that is well adjusted. Most of them are never going to say that, right? They're always going to say you should work more so you can't listen to the workplace. It's like going to the bar, your drinking buddies are always going to say that you should be drinking more and coming out with them. There's always, they're always there, right? So what do you have to do is, is sort of a listen to those emotions that you have, right? And I think that's where emotions are really, really powerful tool of figuring out who we are as people and whether that there is some sort of trigger that's happening that, you know, use that emotional response as the rational response of what is going on inside of you. When you don't feel good, when you are feeling, you know, stress and anxiety more than usual, use those emotions of like, wait a minute, maybe I should be doing something different. Maybe I should be going and getting some exercise. Maybe I should be taking some time off for me and having that sort of thing for me. Whatever that thing is, that's something that I really struggle with is figuring out what that thing is. So my thing right now is this whole reciprocity project and doing this kind of stuff. But you know, for a lot of us, we don't have those things. And so finding out something for you, whatever that is, and if you go to a therapist, they're going to say the same thing. Trust me, they're going to say the same thing. And they're just going to say, find something for you. And that's just for you, whether it's golf, or, you know, something, some sort of outlet that is your thing. Whether it's coloring or whatever, right, that that is that is distinct, that is different. So the goal is to sort of think about how do I use these emotions that that I'm experiencing and sort of even the long term emotions, right? Like you're more along the lines of like a disposition of how you're feeling, use those things, like the long, long term of what's going on in your life, use those things as signals of I need to make a change, I need to do something, whatever that is, is sort of specific to you. But those are really important signals to put up boundaries in your life. And it's okay to say no. It's okay to, you know, do your thing, even though that there's always more work that's there. And, and, you know, it's okay to ignore people too, in that case, right, if you don't have time to respond, that is completely healthy to do those things. I struggle with that I struggle with all this kind of stuff, that's what I'm talking about it. But, you know, having time where you spend time for, you know, the basic functions of life, there, you know, a basic function for you is going to a religious event, going in and having a family dinner, all of that stuff is really helpful. And it's good for you. And and if it's if the work of anything in your life is overflowing to other things that it is disrupting you and making you feel not great, it's making other people unnerving, unnervous, or, you know, just not feeling great, and you should probably listen to it, right, there's something going on that you need to adjust. And you need to whether, you know, the other person is not feeling that they're being included and all those kind of things, maybe you need to go talk to, you know, somebody as a group and see what they think. So I think all of this kind of stuff is to realize that working is not the most important thing that we'll ever do, right? There's many other things that we have. It's one more thing that's incredibly important in our life, but it's not most important thing. There's many other things that you can be doing and should be doing. And it's never going to be the right answer in terms of who you are as a person, but you just kind of have to figure it out based on how you're feeling and other people are feeling around you and getting that sort of response of what is going on in terms of or what should I do going forward, right? And if people are giving you some alarms, and sort of mentioning some things, maybe at some time, maybe it's important to take a little bit of time out and find something that you love, that is independent of everything that's there, that you're working or that you're part of, such as work, right? Or drinking or whatever, right? Like use those as signals as something needs to change and work towards that. I think that there is a lot of things that we can positively do in our life. And, you know, it's a never ending journey of doing this and figuring this out so we don't need to have like these hard lines in the sand, but we need to sort of adjust and grow and become better people based on the feelings that we actually have and how we're handling the world around us. So hopefully this helps you out. And by the way, if you're feeling very, very overworked, or if you're feeling, you know, like just not great, right? Go talk to somebody. Go talk to an actual real person that can handle this stuff. Sometimes they might prescribe medication and stuff like that. But, you know, all of that is healthy to have those conversations. What I want to say and what I want to do is de-stigmatize a lot of these conversations and just say, hey, this is important stuff to do and important stuff to actually talk about openly. All right. Take care and have a wonderful day. Bye.