Speaker 1: Let's get real for a moment. How many times have you had an important message to share where right before you stand up to speak your palms get sweaty, your stomach starts turning, and then that dreaded dry mouth kicks in. It's not good, but it means that you care about your message. And if you do, there will always be an underlying anxiety every time you present. In this video, I share a proven technique that will help you use your fear as fuel and manage your speaking anxiety the next time you need to step up. I'm Riaz, welcome to the Every Conversation Counts platform. This is the channel that helps leaders, experts, and coaches connect every time you speak on stage and on camera. If you're looking to maximize your impact, subscribe to this channel and hit the bell for the heads up when new content is released weekly. Think about this, the number one cause of your speaking anxiety is simple, it's uncertainty. Will your message be heard? Will you be able to land that big contract or close that important deal, or maybe just influence the audience to do things differently? When all eyes are on us, we can feel exposed and then do what's necessary to protect our well-being, avoiding the eye contact, maybe even hiding behind a podium, or even worse, a never-ending PowerPoint deck. When I first started speaking professionally, I would struggle with this, managing the anxiety. In fact, there were times I thought I was going to forget what I was supposed to say because I was so focused on how I would come across. To try and fix this, I would start visualizing my desired outcome. Listen, I would do the relaxation and breathing techniques, I would practice the presentation just to make myself more comfortable, but the thing I've come to learn from years of experience with presenting, listening to feedback, and then course correcting, is that if you want to beat your speaking anxiety, stop focusing on yourself and point your focus outward. Think about that. This shift isn't something that happens instantaneously. You've got to put in the effort to make that happen, and given the virtual world we are all living in now, the technique of pointing your focus outward isn't just an option, it's a necessity if you want to conquer your speaking anxiety. Here are three key tips to help eliminate that anxiety and make your audience love you at the exact same time. Number one, ask first, talk second. Before you step up to share your message, build relationships by talking to people individually first. Choose about maybe say five influential people that will be in your audience or virtual setting, and then take the time to ask them the important questions beforehand. Get their take on what's been happening in the company, the challenges that need to be confronted, the heroes that need to be celebrated, and then use those findings as powerful context to customize your content. You could discover great personal stories or new perspective that you had yet to consider. Then when it's time for you to present, focus and speak to those topics, and specifically those people in the room, addressing their needs, and watch how you will earn the respect from your peers from knowing what the group is thinking, feeling, and doing. Great comedians do this all the time on tour. They find out what's happening in the city they're performing in and make local references to help win the audience over. Number two, be a giver, not a taker. The one thing I've learned from speaking and coaching other presenters is that the takers are the ones that have more anxiety because they want and need validation from the audience. They're wondering, will the audience like me? Will they pay attention to me? Will they find my jokes funny? Meanwhile, the givers are all about service. Once the work beforehand has been done with the pre-game conversations, you'll know what the audience needs, so you can confidently speak to their specific pain points and it becomes an act of service to support your audience's growth and transformation versus the anxiety that comes from guessing, is my content good enough? Third tip, stop scanning and start seeing. The number one tell if someone is nervous or anxious about speaking, their eyes just scan the room, yet they fail to see anyone in the room. If you want to ground your nerves, find your fab five, five people you can consistently lock eyes with so it feels like you are having several personal conversations and take your time with this. Speak to one person and share a thought or idea, then move to the next one and use your entire space. The people in the back of the room, the people on the sides of the room, they'll be appreciative of your attention because the ones in the middle, they'll be getting most of your eye contact. Now, I know what you're thinking. What about in virtual meetings? Yes, this becomes a new challenge because your audience members can't tell if you're looking directly at them, but if you've interviewed your fab five before your presentation, you can call on them and light them up and engage them in a similar way. Look, speaking can be a nerve wracking experience no matter what the context. If you approach the exercise though with an intent of giving, it will help you manage your anxiety. Loosen up, have fun, and most importantly, maximize the impact you can have on your audience. Like anything, the more speaking reps you can get in, the stronger your presenting muscle will become and your anxiety will then be an afterthought. What helps you beat your speaking anxiety? Drop a comment below. For more ideas on how to connect with others, you can download the free guide, The 5 Secrets to Making Every Conversation Count. Thanks for watching this video. We cover many more ideas on calming your nerves and projecting confidence when you present in these videos. If you found this content valuable, be sure to subscribe to the channel, hit the like button and feel free to share the content. We'll see you in the next video.