Speaker 1: What is up, CultureDrop, Galen here. Coming at you today with a little segment, Skills Lab. And you know what lab means? It means science, baby. Science, I don't know. Oops, I forgot to say what it's about because I got excited about science. This is about how to resolve conflict between two coworkers. The situation would be here that two people have conflict together and they both are interested in having a conversation to resolve it. Before we get into step one, step two, and walk you through it, what I wanna talk about is the reason we do this, the purpose for this, the impact of this. Doing it this way creates an environment where both people feel totally listened to, have an opportunity to share, sort of like bridge the gap in understanding or like what are you really trying to accomplish here? What are you truly trying to accomplish here? Which is so important for conflict is that we do it in a way that's like as emotionally neutral as possible, that both people have an opportunity to like listen, hear each other, feel understood, feel listened to, and then work together to find a resolution. So step one, well, if there's two people here, we'll label them as person A and person B. What happens first is person A would explain themselves to person B. They would say, here's everything going on for me, here's everything that I'm feeling, that I'm assuming, here's everything that I'm upset about, here's all the things that are happening for me in my experience here. And while person A is sharing, person B only listens. It's really important that person B does not like sigh or roll their eyes or give any kind of feedback at all. There's no interrupting, it doesn't matter. Even if things that are inaccurate, person B just listens. This is an opportunity for this person to feel like get everything that they need to say off of their plate and out of their head, out of their mouth, and for this person to listen. So once they're done, person B will repeat back what they heard. So what I heard you say was this. As factually accurate as possible, it's like you said this, this is your experience, these are assumptions that you're making, this is what's frustrating you, is that correct? Did I hear you correctly? Is everything I said back to you accurate? Person A would say yes, or if something was incorrect there, they would say actually no, that's not what I meant, this is what I actually meant, this is what I was saying, this is the right interpretation. To be like right, clarify, okay, you meant this, yes, okay? Once that's done, then we trade places. So then person B would have an opportunity to share everything that's going on for them. Person A, just listen. Exactly the opposite situation. No eye rolling, no feedback, just hearing what that person says with eye contact, listening to what they have to say. Once they're done, they repeat back. Here's everything you said, this is what's going on for you, this is what you're thinking, this is what you're feeling, this is what's happening, is that right? Yes. Just doing that one first step goes a long way into calming things down, making people feel listened and understood, that I actually get to hear your perspective. Now it's an opportunity for us to clarify. Clarifying meaning in there, right? In context of like, these are some things that I heard you said that's not actually what's going on for me, here's a clarification. Add to that kind of pool of meaning that we both understand each other and where we're coming from. Once we've gone through that and sort of addressed the things that are clearly way in misalignment for the two of us, then it's like, okay, what do we both want here? What is the end goal? Do we want to have a better working relationship? We want to find a resolution here. And so both people agreeing to, yes, this is really the end point, this is ideal, this is what I would be looking for, this is what I want here. And find calming ground. And then now that we've had all this listening and understanding and learning and hearing the other person's perspective to be like, okay, how can we get there? Be in solution mode, right? So like, what can I do differently? How can I show up differently in the situation that would alleviate some of the ways that maybe I frustrate you or whatever the context of the conflict is, is like, okay, both people taking a look at how have I contributed to this? Because even if I think I'm squeaky clean and I've done absolutely nothing wrong, the reality in conflict between two people is that we both have some version of ownership. Some of the ways that I'm showing up, whether those are intentional or not, are impacting this person in a negative way. Both people take a look at, okay, how can we both operate differently, show up differently going forward? What are some agreements that we can make going forward to find this resolution and come to an agreement to say, okay, here's what we'll do, here's the plan. And to leave that meeting, the last step here, once we've gone through all that, is to say, when will we revisit this? Not to just be like, cool, we had this conversation, now we'll just let it go. It's like, let's check back in in a week, let's check back in in a month or a couple weeks, whatever the timeframe feels appropriate to check in and say, how are things going? Is everything okay? Am I sticking to my agreements? Are you sticking to your agreements? Does this feel better for us? And if not, or if it is, what are other adjustments that we can make? It's really, really important to follow this model. And this is something you can, if you're facilitated between two people, can be a really useful way to get both people to just sit down, listen, hear the other person, accurately say, this is what I heard you say, here's what we both want here, let's find some common ground. What is a great solution that works for both of us? What can we both do to contribute to that? And when will we revisit this? When will we reconnect and make sure that we're having maintenance conversations along the way to make sure that we're upholding those agreements and that things are going well? That's it. Kind of a simple model, but I think that's a useful thing for you to keep in your relationships, work relationships, as a leader, et cetera. If you notice some conflict that's happening and both people are willing to sit down and try to work it out, it's a great way to just facilitate that conversation. That's it. All right, go be awesome. Thanks for watching and tuning in. Subscribe to our channel. 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