Speaker 1: I don't know if you've realized this, but student disrespect is at an all-time high across the country. So in today's video, I will be sharing some tips on how you can respond to student disrespect in the moment. Stay tuned. Hi, my name is Michelle, and I'm a behavior strategist. I help teachers in schools learn how to manage their classrooms and their students with less stress and less struggle. And in today's video, we're going to be talking about how to respond when a student is disrespectful to you in the moment. Trust me, I've been there, I've been called names, I've been laughed at, I've been mocked, I've been talked back to, all of those things that equal student disrespect. But I have found some methods on how to respond to the student disrespect that helps me to feel in control while still addressing that behavior. Strategy number one is to review the incident as a teachable moment, not a personal attack. It took me some years to realize this and practice this, but I learned not to take it personally when a student disrespected me. Yes, maybe their intentions were to hurt my feelings, maybe their intentions were to show me up, but I chose not to take it that way. And I've learned that that's half the battle. When a student is disrespectful to you, a lot of times it has more to do with them, their character, their lack of skills, more so than you, the person or the teacher, the person in authority. In order for me to not take it personally, it had to be a choice and it had to be a mindset. So you can choose not to take it personally, no matter what the student says or how they say it. But remember, it's a choice and it's a mindset shift that comes from within. And when you make that choice, it takes the power away from the student and returns it back to you, the teacher. Next, you want to verbally correct or redirect that behavior. So from my perspective, to verbally correct a behavior means to alert the student or inform the student that the behavior they engaged in was wrong or inappropriate. Here are a few ways that you can communicate that. You can say, that was disrespectful and unacceptable. Or, we don't do disrespect in our classroom. Do you understand? Another one is, that was not okay and that will not be tolerated. Notice how my facial expression changed when I gave that correction. And here's the key that I want you to know. It doesn't really matter how that student responds in the moment to your correction. So that student can laugh, they can make a comment after, they can say, I don't care or you don't tell me what to do. That's not the key here. The key is that you corrected the behavior, you alerted and you communicated to the student that that behavior is not okay. The next thing is to verbally or gesturally or visually redirect the behavior. So when I say redirect, that means tell the student what you want them to do instead. So it could be quiet voices, change your tone of voice, try it again, do it differently, whatever that looks like or sounds like. You want to communicate to the student what they should be doing instead. The key right now is not so much an immediate change. The key is that you are instructing or redirecting the student to a different behavior. Please understand this. When it comes to disrespect, no one likes to be corrected or even redirected, not even us adults. So a lot of times our students have learned, you know what, I'm going to give a certain response, hoping that you will change your mind, hoping that you will not hold them to what you talked about or shared with them. And so they will do different things to try to distract you or discourage you. You need to stand your ground, correct, then redirect. There are some students who are going to make the adjustment very quickly. They're going to follow your redirection very quickly. There are other students who are not going to do it as quickly, maybe because they're trying to save face, not seem like they're following directions, maybe they're embarrassed and they're in their feelings. So often what I'll do is I'll give them a little time, some space between my direction and their opportunity to change their behavior. I may let them do a little mumbling under their breath. I may even let them say a little talk back, but after a certain amount of time, and what I mean time, I usually mean seconds to minutes. I'll move on to something else because I said what I said, and then I will allow them to adjust their behavior. I am not standing over the student. I am not putting any kind of pressure on the student. I am letting the words that I use or the prompt, whether it's gestural or visual to stand. Now, if the student is still not being respectful, then that's when I go ahead and I implement my classroom management system. Remember, every teacher should have a classroom management system that includes rules and expectations, procedures and routines, communication and organization. So I will pull out from my communication piece, my rewards and my consequences. So that may mean the student's going to get a consequence for their behavior. The intent of the consequence is not necessarily to punish or to embarrass, but to discourage that behavior from continuing in the future. Then what I will try to do later that day, later that period, is to talk to the student one-on-one on ways to make it right. This is a part of the teaching process of teaching a student when they are disrespectful, how to make things right. So that might look like a verbal apology, a letter of apology or some owed time from a preferred activity. And then the last step that I will do is I will embrace a new day. Just because a student was disrespectful to me does not mean I have to hold it over their head for the rest of the day, the rest of the period, the rest of the week or the rest of the month. So I have to make a choice to get out of my own feelings and understand that that disrespectful behavior says a lot more about that student than it does about me. And because learning how to cope with challenging situations in the school setting, in the classroom setting, is a learning process, I treat it as such. I'm not saying I like it, I'm not saying I appreciate it, but I do respond and handle it in a teachable moment way. Now, let me just say this before I go that there are some students who demonstrate a pattern of disrespect. So I'm not saying that you let this pattern go on for days, weeks, or even months. Once you recognize that there's a pattern of behavior, and for me a lot of times that means three or more, now it's time to look at the data, look at the pattern, and come up with an intervention or a plan to address it. So my pattern of response typically looks like this. When a student starts to disrespect on a consistent basis, I will start with the consequences that are in my classroom management system. If those are not working, then I go back and I do a teach, review, or reteach of what respect looks like, sounds like, and will include some alternates to the behaviors that they are demonstrating. If that doesn't work, then I will put together a plan that says if student does A, the disrespectful behavior, B will happen. But if the student is respectful, C, E will happen. So there is a process and a method that I use to address and manage disrespectful student behavior. Unfortunately, a culture of disrespect is becoming too common and too frequent in our society and in our schools, and it's not a great situation to be in, but you do have options. First of all, start within, start with the mindset of I am not going to take this personally, protect your mind, protect your heart, and then begin to use the methods that I discussed earlier in today's video. Do you have any questions about when a student disrespects you? Let me know in the comments below, and I will see you next time.