Speaker 1: Hi, Lisa DeHart here and welcome to this video. Today, we're going to jump into what showed up in my monthly Q&A call. It's free. You can find a link below. We'd love to have you join us, but what showed up around facilitates client growth. So let's get into it. So on today's call, it was really interesting with the group of coaches that were on the call today. It was a fun conversation and three themes seemed to really show up. And the first thing I'd like to say about facilitates client growth is that it was definitely one of the competencies that I feel like I was most challenged with myself in my own coach development. I really, I don't know, I had some sort of internal narrative around, I had some internal narrative around like I was bossing the client around or maybe being too parentified. Like, have you done what you said you were going to do? Have you got, when will you get it done by? And I just didn't like the feeling of that. And so I don't think I'm alone as a coach who maybe struggles with this idea of whose responsibility is this to do anyway. And so I, as I was struggling with it, I had a really wonderful mentor coach who said to me, well, how do your clients feel about facilitating client growth? And I'm like, I honestly don't know what my clients think about it. So I started really playing with the questions and finding my own voice with facilitating client growth, but then also asking my clients afterwards, like how was that when I was asking those kinds of questions? And the thing that was consistently being reflected back to me was, no, it was really great. It really helped me to really sort of grab hold and anchor my learning for the session. And I was like, oh, okay, well, I guess this might be a good thing. So as we were talking about it today, a couple themes that showed up were around perfectionism. When clients don't follow through with what they say they're gonna do, the perfectionism shows up a bit on the side of the coach. I need to offer you value. I wanna make sure this is meaningful and useful to you. And so coaches sometimes start driving the conversation to try and help the clients have some sort of big epiphany or outcome. I think sometimes the thing that stops clients from following through on their actions is that they too can be perfectionists. And there's this sort of idea of I've created these actions and since I can't do them perfectly, I'm just not gonna do them at all. And one of the things that really showed up in today's conversation was, but that's a great place to have another conversation. So when your client comes back for the following session, how did it go? How did they learn? And the learning doesn't have to be like, oh, it was amazing. It could be, I learned that I was really struggling with getting this accomplished. Interesting. What about that might be really important for us to explore? And so this really leads into the bigger theme, which is when clients don't follow through on their agreements. And there were several different things that came up. One of the participants talked about that it doesn't feel like if they don't have ownership of the actions, that they're less likely to follow through on those actions. And that's been my experience with my clients. If I'm giving worksheets and homework and action items to my clients, there's a tendency that the clients don't follow through on the homework. Whereas if what we're doing is instead really asking the clients, what showed up for you today that was interesting, useful, maybe a new insight, maybe a reminder of an old insight, what showed up for you in this conversation today? And the client tells you this did. Excellent. When you think about this, what actions might support you continuing to move forward with this? So that the actions are really coming from the client and they're very much linked with what their insights or awarenesses are. If we have the client telling us the action, what ends up happening is ownership. I'm more likely to follow through on actions that I developed for myself because they make sense in my brain regarding what I'm gonna do to help move myself forward. I think this also speaks to, do we have a good agreement? And that was the other piece of this. Like, it's very difficult to know what questions to ask towards the end. And so, if you haven't really set a good agreement setting with your client, like, where are we going? What will be different? What's important about this? And is this what we're moving towards? And the client says, yes. And so, as you're moving towards that, and we did a really fast little demo in the session this morning, where the client was wanting to move towards confidence and a straight back and more confidence. So, once we know that that's how they'll know that they're being successful, we can then use, so, as we were working towards a straight back and more confidence, what did you notice showed up is important for you to remember? That becomes a great way of then inviting the client to start to name their insights and then what actions support that. We can also be asking questions around, when you hear yourself name these actions, what value or character strength do you honor and really hold strongly that might support you in following through on the actions that you have? There was a question around the zero to 10, how committed are you to this action? And I don't like that one quite as much because it feels a little binary versus what insight or rather what value or character strength do you have that will support you in following through on your actions? One of my clients said loyalty was a really strong value for them. And they've often thought of loyalty as something that they're giving to other people, but maybe they need to be giving it to themselves and following through on these commitments to themselves. There's a huge difference between that sort of insight that a client is having versus, I guess I'm at a seven. The seven doesn't have the same sort of value for the client as loyalty. And how do I turn that loyalty onto myself? And so these were some of the things that we were talking about also. I think there's also, we were talking about when it comes to following through on our actions, that there may be an underlying fear. Like when I think about things where I came up with the actions, I'm good with the actions. They're my actions. I have full ownership, but what stopped me from actually following through on the actions that I committed to? And I think there's a whole conversation there for a coach around what just happened. Like, what did you learn from this? And it may be that I don't have enough baby steps to get me there, or this may just feel huge in my mind. And going back to that idea of perfectionism, this feels so big and I can't do it justice, so I'm just not gonna do it. And I don't know about you, but the very first blog post that I ever put out into the world, I just remember how scared I was when I did it. Or the very first YouTube channel, or not channel, but the very first YouTube video that I did, I was really terrified by doing it. Or the first big article that I wrote on LinkedIn, I was just really scared to press publish because I was worried that it wasn't gonna be good enough, that nobody would like it. I mean, all those internal fears that are just normal as human beings, the more we have an opportunity to practice these things and to have the support to practice these things, the easier it gets. It's kind of like if you've ever changed your style and gone from maybe really long hair to really short hair, it's not comfortable immediately, but at some point you get really used to it and you don't look in the mirror and go, who's that? You go, oh yeah, that's just me now, right? And so it's the same sort of thing with facilitating client growth. A big part of what we're trying to do is really support the client's agency in naming what their insights are, naming their actions, and also naming the things that they're learning, both positive or negative, and what needs to be tweaked along the way in order to support them in being more successful. So I really had a good time in this monthly Q&A in February here. And again, I absolutely welcome you to come and join us. It's free, happens every month, and would love to see you there. I hope this video was useful and see you in another video. Cheers.