Speaker 1: April 2nd, 2005 was a day etched in the memory of football fans worldwide. The stage was set at St James' Park where Newcastle United faced off against Aston Villa. But little did these fans know that what they were about to witness was one of the craziest moments in Premier League history. As the match progressed, tension simmered beneath the surface. It was a frustrating day for the Magpies, who found themselves 3-0 down to Villa. Kieran Dyer and Lee Bowyer, both donning the iconic black and white stripes of Newcastle, clashed in a confrontation that shocked the entire footballing world. A seemingly innocuous disagreement over not being past the ball quickly escalated into a full-blown brawl. Fists were thrown, jerseys were ripped, and teammates and opponents alike scrambled to intervene. The referee swiftly brandished red cards, sending both Dyer and Bowyer to the showers prematurely. In the aftermath of the brawl, both players were heavily criticised, fined and publicly humiliated. Their actions were a stark reminder that even professional athletes can lose control, on the biggest stage, in the most extreme ways. But let's be clear, this infamous clash between Dyer and Bowyer is the worst possible way to respond to bad teammates, even though there are moments when frustrations boil over. It's crucial to remember that in the world of sports and in life, disagreements are inevitable, but resorting to these embarrassing means only leads to negative consequences. So what can you do to avoid similar outcomes the next time a teammate fills you with frustration or blind rage? Well, let's run through three simple but highly effective tactics that will help you deal with even the worst teammates. One of the most common mistakes when dealing with bad teammates is resorting to character or identity judgments. You know, phrases like you're greedy or you're lazy. And while it's natural to feel frustrated when a teammate isn't performing up to par, this approach often backfires. Why? Because it makes people defensive and it rarely leads to constructive change. Let's take a look at a basketball scenario to illustrate this point. Imagine you're on a basketball team and your teammate frequently hogs the ball, taking every shot and rarely passing. Your initial reaction might be to say, you're so selfish, you never pass the ball. But what does that actually accomplish? It likely makes your teammate defensive and they may continue the same behavior just out of pure spite. They start feeling attacked by you and see you as an enemy, not a teammate. And the frustrating cycle just continues on and on for the rest of the game or even the rest of the season. So what should you do instead? Focus on behavior and often solutions for improvement. Instead of labeling a teammate as selfish, you could say something like, you've been taking a lot of shots in areas where the chances of making a bucket are slim. If we want to win, you should keep an eye out for one of us who's open or in a better position to score. Something as simple as that won't make them defensive unless they're a complete arsehole. Another thing you can do is attach that more desirable behavior to the player that they most idolize. So say something like, even Steph Curry would have passed that one. This can help them just make sense of the fact that they didn't make the right call and that they need to make better decisions for the benefit of the team next time. But I get it, sometimes they just won't listen and because of that you have to be really direct in your feedback for bad teammates. But how do you go about doing this? It's never easy, but one thing you should definitely try is radical candor. Before we get into the sporting context, let's define what radical candor is. So radical candor is a concept coined by Kim Scott in her book of the same name and it's all about achieving a balance between care for your teammates and also the courage to challenge them directly. In essence, it's about being honest and kind in your feedback because bad teammates often know deep down they're bad teammates. That's why they get really defensive or really try to force things when there are easy options. Often they have quite fragile confidence and because of this, they're on edge. So if you start cussing them out, then it's going to break their confidence even more and again cause more of the same issues that prevent them working well for the team. So how can radical candor be effectively applied in sporting situations? Well, let's break it down a sec. Imagine you're on a football team and a teammate consistently struggles with their dribbling skills. Instead of beating around the bush or avoiding the issue whatsoever, you should apply radical candor. So firstly, you have to care personally, show genuine concern for your teammate, understand that they're trying their best and that you actually want to see them improve. So you could say something like, Hey, you're a good dribbler. I see you're trying hard in training and this is valuable for the team. But then step two is when you then have to challenge directly. This is where you provide direct specific feedback. So you could say something like, Look, the rest of the team has noticed your dribbling decisions could do with a bit of improvement. The last game you tried to run through the whole team three times and every time you lost the ball and that nearly cost us the game because on the second time from you losing the ball, they scored. That's a fact. But let's make sure this doesn't happen again. Let's work together on your dribbling so you can make better dribbles in future that benefit us as a team. Then after challenging directly like this, it's important to provide specific guidance and support. So offer solutions and resources to actually then help your teammate improve that thing. So you could suggest, Let's practice some dribbling drills together during our next training session. I found these specific drills really helpful myself. Or say, Look, I'll send you this video on decision making in dribbling. If you watch this, I think it'll really help you stop getting tackled when you try those dribbles in future. And again, if they're in any sense of the word a decent person, they should respond positively to this because you're massaging their ego by saying that they're good, but then you're spelling out where they need to improve, but without attacking them. And then you're also providing specific guidance to help them get better and perform more optimally themselves. So if you adopt this radical candor consistently and patiently, over time, those bad teammates will become good teammates. And if they don't, be radically candid with your coach and talk about the negative impact that that teammate is having on the overall team performance. And then the last way to deal with bad teammates is an unfortunate reality, one that you'll just have to learn and accept. And this one is a mindset shift that can help you maintain your sanity, especially when dealing with teammates who are just absolutely awful to play with. Because in team sports, that is just inevitable, unfortunately. And if you can't learn to deal with them, then you're better off just playing an individual sport. So what is this last thing? Well, simply put, it's to demand but not expect. This is about pushing your teammates to do their best while simultaneously letting go of unrealistic expectations. Again, imagine you're part of a football team and you have a teammate who consistently struggles with passing accuracy or just making the right decision to pass when teammates are open. Instead of holding high expectations or getting frustrated, apply demand but don't expect. To do this, firstly, demand excellence. Hold your teammates to high standards and communicate those standards clearly by being radically candid and also commenting on behavior as opposed to identity, like we spoke about earlier. But at the same time, lower your expectations. Understand that not every teammate will instantly meet those standards that you have for them. Recognize that your teammates have limitations or may need more time to improve or just don't see the game in the same way as you. Doing this just helps you reduce your emotional involvement because bad teammates cause you to feel all kinds of bad emotions. Anger, frustration, annoyance, you know, the list goes on. And if you give in to those emotions, then it negatively impacts your game. But if you demand but don't expect, you're still focused on pushing your team to be better while maintaining a healthy level of detachment from the outcome. And it's often the case that unless you're playing at the absolute highest level in the grand scheme of things, then the overall team outcome is not always 100% the most important thing. The most important thing instead is your individual performance. Because if you're not already at the highest level, chances your goal is not necessarily to win games and championships as much as that's desirable. Instead, it's to stand out enough to then get an opportunity at a high level. It's to get a call up from the youth team to the first team or it's to get scouted by a top college or a top club. The people watching your games are watching you as an individual and they will see that, oh, he or she is a really good player but he's not in a team that's playing as well as it should because of a couple of teammates. They won't hold that against you unless you let that impact your game. Instead, if you remain composed, remain enthusiastic and remain as someone who encourages a bad teammate even when they do the thing that pissed you off for the 100th time, you'll still meet your goal of impressing people who can then hand you an opportunity at a higher level. And when that finally happens, you can wave goodbye to your bad teammate and never have to deal with their selfishness, poor decision-making or just stupid play ever again. So be patient. Throughout your life, you're gonna have to put up with bad people in various contexts. That's just life. But don't let their toxicity or inadequacy drag you down to their level. You're better than that and just keep that in mind. You're better than that and just keep that in mind.