Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to another episode of Cakefight Presents The Making Of. I'm writer-director-producer Paige Feldman, and this week, as every week, I'm taking you inside my process of making my debut feature film. We're going from idea to premiere in real time. So for the past few weeks, I've been taking you through a lot of character work that I've been doing in preparation for the rewrite of this first draft of my contained romantic comedy feature. Today, I'm going to show you my last step in pre-writing before the rewrite, and that's taking all of this character work I've done and consolidating it into an outline that I'm going to use to help me guide my rewrite process. This outline before the rewrite is something I do before every rewrite, especially every rewrite of a first draft in my writing process, and it's always a little bit different. So I'm going to take you through what I did for this film today and show you, in general, how my process works, and hopefully this is something you'll find helpful as you rewrite, or at least just find interesting as you're following my process. So let's roll those titles, and when we get back, show you all about it. So re-outlining can take on a few different forms. Often I will write out every single scene on an index card and then rearrange them, look at them, see what's missing, see what is superfluous, and be able to take that out, play with them in general for the structure, and that works really well when I'm doing a rewrite that is focused on plot. And if you want to see an example of that, when I was writing Kaleidoscope, a project I was previously working on, I did a video all about those index cards and the structure, and I popped that up there, up here. But because for this contained romantic comedy feature, so much of my work on this rewrite is in character and about character arcs, I don't really... I'm not really concerned about the plot as much as I am concerned about how my people are moving through the plot right now. So we're going to ignore the index cards for now, though I do love you, and I'm going to come back to you later, I'm sure. But for this rewrite, it's all about creating, for me, a focused outline of character shifts, where each character starts a scene or a sequence, and what emotional state they are at the end of it. And so for that, I am going to get onto my computer and use my trusty Scrivener, and of course, we're going to screen share. So what you see here is a template that I've made as a re-outline for this first revision. I have included act numbers, Act 1, Act 2a, Act 2b, Act 3, and within them, the beats of the romantic comedy. So I got all these beats from Billy Murnat's fabulous book, Writing the Romantic Comedy, which I wholeheartedly recommend to anyone who's considering writing a romantic comedy, because it breaks down the genre in terms of beats and typical story structure, and it also recommends a lot of great watching material and research, just in terms of the examples that he uses. So I've written out all of these beats here, and we have two chemical equations and setups, which is unusual and not typical. The reason for this is because my characters have a history together. This is sort of a second chance romance, and so the chemical equation setup is the beat in the story, where we see who the characters are and meet them where they are at in their starting emotional states. So the backstory is very formative for the relationship, and what we're meeting them is going to be the moment right before their breakup. So I want to include this here, because I want to make sure that when I'm writing backstory scenes, I have a good sense of how they got from where they were as teenagers to where they were as adults within the context of this scene and the heartbreak that's going to come. And then chemical equation setup at the Shiva, Ash's grandmother dies, and that's kind of the pre-film catalyst to all of what's happening here. So we are going to have Ash and Mitch see each other for essentially the first time since their heartbreak in this moment, and so need to have what their emotional states are. And then we got the meet-cute, which is obviously when Ash and Mitch actually interact for the first time, and it's going to be at the house in the desert where the majority of this film is going to take place. It is a contained romantic comedy, so they're at the contained location at this point. And then we have the sexy complication, which is the first time that our characters connect, and it's usually connecting within the context of conflict, but it's a time where they agree to work together. They agree to see each other again. They are going to remain within each other's orbits despite the clash that is between them. And we get an act 2a, which is the midpoint. Oh, and then for my sexy complication, there's a scene where Ash and Mitch are eating ice cream at midnight. This is a scene that I've had in my mind, I think, for like 15 years at this point. Just a random scene, and now I'm finally using it. So I'm really excited about writing this and having it be realized in the way that it's been sitting in my brain all this time. Okay, so now we're on to act 2a, which is act 2 I like to break up into two parts, because it's, you know, the biggest chunk, and it's usually twice as long as act 1 and act 3, but it's more manageable if you break it into just, you know, even parts with the other two acts. So act 2a, the first part of act 2, it's what Save the Cat kind of calls fun and games. Basically, we're taking from the sexy complication, where there's arguing and conflict, but their affection for each other, the two leads, is growing up to the midpoint. And the midpoint here, there's Havdalah, which if you are not Jewish or not literate in Jewish culture, Havdalah is a, it's a, I guess a ceremony is the right word, that marks the end of Shabbat, of our Sabbath, and it separates the holy from the profane. Profane meaning the regular week, the work week. At this point in the story, this is where Ash and Mitch fully rekindle their romance. That's the sex scene with Havdalah. So I'm kind of making a bit of a joke with like the separation between sacred and profane, even though sex isn't profane. But regardless, that's where that happens. So this is typically where affections grow and the relationship shifts into high gear. Act 2B, there's two points here, the swivel slash second turning point, which is when that great relationship that was building from the midpoint, which is really at the end of Act 2, or end of Act 2A, starts to turn and the conflict re-enters the picture. The reason these two were clashing at the beginning, at the sexy complication, it re-enters the picture. And for our swivel or second turning point here, Ash watches this video that Bubby Esta, who is his grandmother who died, left him. And that puts the goal, and I'm trying not to spoil y'all, because I really want to be able to share this with you, this whole story, when it's like ready. So I'm trying not to spoil you. The, so the video is going to shift Ash's perspective in terms of the task that he's trying to accomplish and make him question everything and go back into his like protective shell of, well, nobody likes me anyway, so no one can hurt me, therefore. And then we have the dark moment or crisis climax, which is at the very end of Act 2, and is always one of my favorite things to write. I love kissing scenes, and I love big dramatic arguments. And so this is the big dramatic argument. And concert moment is, so Mitch is a songwriter, and Ash sets up this like concert for her. But really, she realizes it's not about her at all. It's about him. And she has enough, because she's this people pleaser who's been trying and trying to please and realize Ash can't be pleased. And fuck him. So that is the argument there. And then we get into Act 3, where there's two beats. Now, I Can Make It On My Own is a beat that I have added into Billy Murnat's paradigm. And this is, basically, it's a moment in Act 3, where the protagonists realize that the goal that they want to complete, yeah, they can do it on their own. They don't need their lover. They don't need this romantic relationship that has, in the dark moment and crisis climax, completely disintegrated. They don't need it to accomplish their goal. They have the drive, the passion, the know-how, the expertise, all of that, the opportunity to achieve their goal without this love. The love isn't the ultimate goal in any of my films. Love is the catalyst for helping people create and do amazing things on their own. And this is the moment where they both will realize it. Ash has a list of tasks he's finishing, so he'll finish them. And Mitch has an audition performance for a record label songwriter, someone I haven't 100% figured it out yet. But because this is a bit of a change from the initial draft, but she has this audition moment, and she realizes that she can't please everyone again. So they're able to do these tasks on their own. And this I Can Make It On My Own moment, where they do make it on their own, makes them realize, yeah, I can do this on my own. But it's better when we're together. The other person is the reason that was able to find that inner strength, that inner confidence, the realization that I'm good enough on my own. It came from the love that we shared, and the conflict that we went through, and the ways that I've grown because of how they've supported me or challenged me. And that is the joyful defeat. Essentially, it's that's the realization of, of we're better together. That's what I just described. In the original script, Ash created this whole moment for Mitch to shine. And in this revision, Mitch is going to invite Ash to coffee to talk things out at an open mic where she's finally performing. The defeat part of it, if you haven't seen some Like It Hot, you'll need to see some Like It Hot because it's just a amazing classic romantic comedy. Tony Curtis, Marilyn Monroe, the whole conceit of the film is that there are these jazz musicians who witnessed the St. Valentine's Day massacre. And in order to hide out from Al Capone and his gang, they dress in drag and go on tour with a ladies jazz band. Marilyn Monroe is one of the ladies and she has a romance. But the other character, the person who... The one of the two men who she doesn't have a romance with goes off and has a bit of a romance with this old gay millionaire. And as they're riding off into the sunset on his boat at the very end, and I know y'all have heard this line.

Speaker 2: I'm good on level with you. We can't get married at all. Why not? Well, in the first place, I'm not a natural blonde. Doesn't matter. I smoke. I smoke all the time. I don't care. I have a terrible past. For three years now, I've been living with a saxophone player. I forgive you. I can never have children. We can adopt some. But you don't understand, Osgood. I'm a man. Well, nobody's perfect.

Speaker 1: Just watch some like it hot. But that that sort of nobody's perfect, like all of the conflict that we've had this whole that whole scene of the moment of all the conflict we had all the things that don't make this right. Despite all that, we are right for each other. And no one's perfect, but you're perfect for me. And that's the ethos of the joyful defeat. So those are all of the beats of this romantic comedy that I have laid out. And I've also included a little note to myself about what the scene is. And that's kind of my version of the index card for this outline. And if you're playing along at home, and you want to do this, and you're not writing a romantic comedy, feel free to like, write out these, the beats that you want to include here for yourself. So instead of chemical equation setup, you know, within the context of like, Save the Cat or Sid Field, it would be like the first 10 pages and then plot point one, and then fun and games and then midpoint, pinch points, etc. You do whatever, find whatever structure works for you. And write out a little outline. And then as you can see, underneath each of these bolded points, like story points, I have Ash's state and Mitch's state, because that's what I'm focusing on. I'm focusing on character shifts, character state of mind, character growth, character arcs. And my goal with all of these organizational templates is to ensure that as I'm rewriting, that all of the conversations, because the script, because it's a contained romantic comedy, it's two people in one house for 90 to 100 minutes, there's gonna be a lot of two people talking, two people doing things together and having conversations. And as much as I love Mumblecore, I want this film to feel a little bit more focused, to feel like it has a little bit more direction and intention than that. So anyway, this is my, like, template for this re-outline for the rewrite. And I've actually already done the work. So I'm going to switch over here so you can see what it looks like when it's all filled out. So I'll take you through a little bit of this. I've made these little arrows with the dash key and the little sideways caret key, greater than, less than, the greater than sign, greater than sign. I know math. So we have here Ash's state. And this backstory, this is exactly what I need. He'll go to what do you want from me? Mitch's state, I can't believe I'm so lucky to be in his sphere, his meaning Ash's, and to what did I do wrong? So as you can see, there's conflict here because they start in the same area. Ash is exactly where he wants to be with Mitch. Mitch is exactly where she wants to be with Ash. And then they end up with questions that are asked in anger or frustration. What do you want from me? What did I do wrong? So the conflict there is apparent. And that's kind of the vibe I wanted to go through this whole thing. So then we get to the chemical equation and set up at the Shiva, which is the first time as the audience that we are meeting Mitch and Ash as adults. And that is kind of why I didn't have a shift here. Also because Mitch and Ash don't really interact. They just notice each other. They exist. This scene is more about us as the audience getting to know the adult version of them at their like the beginning of their art. So kind of at their weakest, lowest, least actualized point. And so Ash's, I want to do the right thing, but it's not worth explaining and no one understands me. And Mitch's state is, I want to do the right thing, be the perfect friend of the Shiva, then write the right song and ensure I have everyone's blessing. They have the same state, but opposite sides of the same coin. They both want to do the right thing. But Ash doesn't feel it's worthwhile to get anyone's approval. Mitch wants to do the right thing and only cares about people's approval. So then we move on to the meet cute. I'm going to save space. And here I so I've finished this outline for the rewrite, but I haven't actually made all of the decisions I'm going to make. I've lived leaving some of this a little loosey-goosey and that is within this. These italics are me saying, I think this is where I want to go, but I'm not 100% sure. He thinks I'm in a safe space. And then he goes when he sees her when they meet, she needs to leave. I can't let her see how she's hurt me. So safe space to not safe space, but how that manifests how he's thinking about it. That's something that I'm going to find out and discover as I'm rewriting. Mitch's state, I'm lost. So opposite of Ash's state, he thinks he's safe. She doesn't feel like she's safe in this house. She goes to I can't let him see how he's hurt me, or I have a right to be here, which is sort of I did nothing wrong. He still owes me an apology, which is kind of almost an opposite version of Ash's arc here. So under the sexy complication, and here you can see I have a bunch of all caps questions, which is because this sexy complication scene that I currently have written is like 12 pages long. And that's way too long for one pivotal scene at the end of Act One. But and I'm not trying to cut pages in this rewrite. But I do want to make sure that I am focused in this scene on getting the characters from point A to point B. So I have pretty good shifts here. But I also have some reminders for myself about what is happening in this scene and where the conflict comes from even as they start to find ways to connect with each other again. So that's that. And then we have they're both trying to this this midpoint is giving me so much trouble. So the states are the same friend to lovers, but why? I don't know. At this point. I'm not sure why this is the moment that they reconnect that they come together, they have sex. I'm not sure. And again, it's okay. This is an outline. I'm trying to make sure that I understand where my character states are. And these answers will probably come to me as I'm reading the script as I'm reading the scenes I already have. And I discover things about the characters that I've seated in there because there's this like part of my brain, even as I'm doing all these messy, overly long drafts, part of my brain knows exactly what's needs to go into a scene, what's going to work, what's not and finding those moments as I'm rewriting is going to answer a lot of these questions. And if I don't have the answer when I'm reading it, then maybe it's gonna take me a little longer to rewrite. But that's okay, because this outline is not a mandate. It is a guiding document to help me along the way as I'm rewriting as I'm perfecting the story. And in this case, as I'm making sure that the characters have clear arcs, and good conflict with each other and within themselves that is reflected in the story. So I'm going to scroll down here, there's more as I get towards the end, there's more and more uncertainty about what these shifts are. Because also, as I'm rewriting, I might discover something in the script that I don't 100% remember from when I read the draft in full. And that will influence which direction these these shifts go, especially when I have multiple options in each. And this swivel second turning point is actually moving something from Act Three up to the middle of Act Two, which I'm gonna have to completely rewrite this whole scene. It'll be it's gonna be a challenge. It'll be fun. And because it's a completely reimagined version of an event from the first draft, I'm not quite sure how this specific scene is going to fit in. I mostly just know what the effects will be after it is. So there's, there's always discovery in writing, even when you outline as much as I do. Okay, and here we have the joyful defeat, which is like a little bit melancholy. And I'm not sure how much I'm feeling that. But at least this moment, but I like I said, then outline is not a mandate. So I'm going to as I'm rewriting, stick with this unless I find at the end because my entire third act because I moved the video thing up to here is like really different. It's gonna be really different now. So this is going to be almost another like a first draft version of the end of the script. So I'll see how this feels when I get there. And maybe I'll make it a little bit happier. Maybe it'll it won't feel as melancholy when it's on the page. Maybe it'll feel joyful and like and I love you that neither of them is ready to share, but we'll find out. And then, as you'll notice, as I've been scrolling through I was I've been adding notes about subplots. Grad school Mitch is deciding whether to go to grad school and give up songwriting. Kaddish is a Jewish morning prayer that Ash refuses to say because it's a Jewish morning prayer, but it is very much praising God and he doesn't want to be praising an entity that took his grandmother away and forced him into the situation of feeling lost and alone that he's in. So establish it there. I have a moment here and the sexy complication. There's some stuff here about it. So I've added more I want these subplots to be sitting within the context of the rewrite because that's something that I want to strengthen and make sure to follow through on because both of those I put a lot of, not a lot, but there are multiple mentions of them in the first half of the script. And then as I was writing and getting more into it, I kind of let those fall by the wayside. And I want to make sure that they're tied up in a way that feels satisfying, but also doesn't overshadow the other parts of the plot, but also integrates within the other parts of the plot. So I have added those into that outline here. And yeah, so that is my very loose re-outline for the first rewrite of this contained romantic comedy feature. There are a lot of character shifts in it, a lot of things I'm certain of, but more things that I'm not certain of. Questions I'm asking myself. Also just general notes of, hey, remember to do this over here. But that's exactly the kind of outline that I need to ensure that as I'm rewriting, as I'm looking to strengthen this story and turn it into what I want it to be, I know exactly what I'm actually going to be looking for. Because it's so hard when you're rewriting, looking at one page, one line of dialogue, one scene description, to get lost in the words themselves and forget what bigger picture you're trying to pull together. So this outline is ready to be printed out to sit next to me on my desk as I rewrite this feature and ensure that this rewrite isn't just rearranging the words on the page, but rearranging the scenes, adding depth, adding emotion, adding conflict, and really making the script the best that it can be. So that's it, at least for today. I hope this was helpful to you as you rewrite your own projects or just you find it interesting for me to talk about my process. If you did find it interesting or you are finding this helpful, please hit the like button or subscribe if you haven't already. Those shows of support mean so much as I work to make this feature debut as a writer-director the best it can possibly be. And I'll be back next week with more of Cake Fight Presents The Making Of. Thank you so much for watching. Bye. Questions I'm asking myself, I have a lot of alts. That's a cat.