Speaker 1: So the next question, I might write a book on this one day, but how to deal with bad or unhappy clients? So super interesting for one reason or another, Brando and I are really interested in dealing with complaints and it basically comes from deescalating conflict. It's a really great skill if you can deescalate conflict. A lot of people go into it with a different mindset, which is I've got to win against this person and prove that they're right. So, and I've certainly felt that way before. I don't think I've ever actually done it, but it's that kind of sense of this person is unreasonable and I'm gonna show them how unreasonable they are by arguing. That unfortunately will cause escalation. And in many ways, the balance of power can rest with the clients depending on the situation. So what is better is to become influential with those bad clients, which means they trust you enough to influence them to behave better. That's the ultimately the best thing you can do. The way to do that is first of all, to acknowledge their emotions. That doesn't mean that you acknowledge that they are right and you're wrong, but it's that what we call tactical empathy. It's essentially making them feel like you understand why they're cross and there's always a reason. You may not agree with the reason, but if a client is angry, it's there's some way that in within their framework of how they see the world that you've let them down, you've broken trust, you've disappointed them. And even if that's really reasonable from someone else's point of view, you need to acknowledge that before they will move on. If you try and solve the problem or try and come up with a solution before you've acknowledged it, it often carries on. So the first step we always say is to try and get them to give you some signal that they feel that you have understood them. Because without that, you go around in circles. So you're looking for a process of saying, I understand why you felt that way. I would feel that way too if I thought that this meant X. So if I thought that by me being 20 minutes late, it meant I didn't care about my clients, even though really the story for me is totally different. But say a client's complaining about me being late. The reason they would be complaining is that they feel it shows a disregard for their importance. So once you understand that, the fact that you had a really great reason to run late is irrelevant because you can say, okay, I understand that. You felt I didn't care about you and all I cared about was whatever, whatever they tell you. And that made you feel insignificant. And I would feel that way too. If I felt insignificant, I'd be crossed. So I understand why you're unhappy now. If you do it really well, we'll get them to acknowledge that with an external word such as that's correct, that's right. Apparently if they say you're right, it's less effective. It means that they're kind of fobbing you off. But when they say that's right, they're giving you the signal that both of you are seeing the problem from the same point of view versus you seeing it from your point of view and them seeing it from their point of view. But from that point onwards, you have about 1,000% more chance of actually influencing what happens next. Because once they feel understood, most of the energy is, most of what they wanted has been achieved. You can then start to negotiate what's the best way of handling it. Could be a simple apology. It could be many other things. You need to then try and get something that you feel happy with. And what I often say to patients is, particularly when I don't want to give them the thing they're asking for is, I want to feel happy next time I see you, happy to see you because we've got a good functioning relationship. So I don't want to trade off giving you something today that makes me feel like I can't trust you next time I see you. And I do say this to patients, trust runs both ways. I need to feel like the treatment that I give you is likely to produce a result that I expect, which means you're happy. If I feel like doing something makes you unhappy, I'm not going to do the treatment. So we need to prove to each other that we can operate in this chaos and uncertainty that happens with any procedure. Sometimes you will get a bruise and sometimes it won't last as long. But if we can navigate, if I can feel that sense of trust that we can get through that uncertainty together and do another treatment, then we can keep going. And that's what I like, what sort of 99% of my patients are like. They understand when things aren't exactly as they expected because that's the nature of these things. And we maintain trust throughout the process. If you lose trust, even if for some reason, because you're disagreeing on what to do with a particular procedure, but if you lose trust, essentially you're not going to want to treat them again. And that is the only bit of leverage I've got to say it's in your interest to hear me out. Yes, you can fight and maybe I'll even give you a refund, but I'm not going to ever treat you again if we go down that route. The only way that we can do that is for us both to feel happy with the outcome. And I will keep talking until I'm happy with my outcome and they will have to do the same. But what I do in that situation is I create a sense of a shared goal. We are both trying to achieve a sense of trust with each other so that next time we see each other, actually what happens is you respect each other more. I had one client, I wish I could share her full story, but she fought tooth and nail. I didn't give in with what I wasn't happy with. And I promise you, we are better friends for it. We trust each other more than almost any of my clients because I respect the way she handled her complaint. And she also knew that I wasn't going to give anything just because she asked for it. I needed a good reason for it. And we have a good working relationship now, even though we had a really intense complaint. So that's what I would, those are some of my core tips off the top of my head, but I hope that helps. It does fundamentally start around empathy and you knowing what your boundaries are and not being afraid to share them. Hope that helps.