Speaker 1: How to take a hit and keep going. This is something that I think human beings are particularly bad at. You come out wired to have a huge emotional response to the things that happen to you. So gaining control of that response is absolutely critical. And here's the thing. In a work environment with a bunch of other people with competing mindsets, with different frames of references, different likes, dislikes, it is bound to happen that you're going to collide with somebody. And let's take the worst of the worst. You collide with somebody for whom you really, really respect. And they're, let's really make it nasty, they're in a position of power over you. And what do you do with that? It's going to make you feel insecure, that your job may be at risk. It's going to make you feel potentially badly about yourself. And how do you deal with that? To me, at the end of the day, your goal, no matter what you're trying to accomplish in your life, is emotional management. So first, let's talk about the things that I do to deal with the in-the-moment knock. So in the moment, I just know the brain well enough, because I've researched it enough, that I actually know the physiology of what's happening. And in envisioning the physiology, envisioning what's happening, I'm actually able to begin to calm my nervous system. And by calming my nervous system, then blood begins to return to the areas of the brain that I want it to return, so that I can get out of fight, flight, or freeze mode. You need to get your head back to a rational space, and if walking away from the situation is what you need to do, then that's what you need to do. But I've seen people burst into tears, I've seen people totally get derailed, have a hard time recovering. I've had people text me and say, I just had such a terrible meeting with XYZ person, I'm thinking of quitting. And then 20 minutes later, they're like, look man, I just totally overreacted, it was totally my bad, I actually see where they're coming from. So all of that stuff happens. So you just need to know that you don't need to trust your emotions, man. I have an inherent distrust for my emotions. And the reason that I distrust my emotions is my emotions largely are trying to keep me from getting eaten or ostracized. But we don't live in those times, so those impulses don't move me towards my goals. And because I have very clear goals, I can just check myself, does this emotion move me towards my goals, yes or no? If it does, cool, then indulge in that emotion. If it doesn't, then don't. Then there's how do I inoculate myself from it? The way that I inoculate myself from knocks being as bad as they are is to build my self-esteem around something anti-fragile. So the more that I'm knocked, that I actually get stronger, I actually get more confident, I actually get wiser, whatever the case may be, that the more you try to assail my personality, the more you try to assail my self-esteem, the more you try to knock me off balance, the less I'm knocked off balance and the stronger I become and more sturdy. And what I found is the key to that is building your self-esteem not around being right, but instead building your self-esteem around identifying the right answer. Because when you do that, no one can attack you for being stupid, undereducated, wrong, whatever the case may be, because you're like, yeah, wow, you're right, that idea actually is better. It's not as bad because your identity wasn't tied up in that idea. Your identity, wisely so, is tied up in identifying the right answer and knowing when to go after it. And when it is your answer, that you'll have the fortitude to stand and fight for it because you know and everybody around you knows because you've been consistent over time, yeah, this guy doesn't fight for dumb ideas just because it's his. He really does champion a better idea when it comes along and that way you'll have credibility. And if you need time to really just think about it and process it, you can tell people, I'm not sure, I just need time to think about it and process it. Doesn't mean you're dumb, right? You just need the time to really stop, think, and come up with a good answer. So those are the two sides of the equation. You can inoculate yourself from emotions swinging so much by building your self-esteem around something that is anti-fragile. And then the other side is if you find yourself getting knocked off course emotionally for whatever reason, to really understand what's happening from a physiological standpoint and then taking steps from a physiological standpoint to create a positive loop in your head, whether that's taking a bold posture, which actually makes you feel more confident, whether it's laughing out loud, which just changes the chemistry in your brain, or just visualizing what's happening so that you can begin to calm your nervous system, breathing deeply and slowly. All of those things will help.