Speaker 1: Listen, no matter what you do in life, you're always negotiating, whether you're dealing with your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, kids, boss, parents, family, cousins, it doesn't matter. You're always negotiating. So the sooner you become a better negotiator and learn the mistakes you're making, the better of results you'll start getting when it comes down to negotiating. So today, I'm going to talk to you about the 14 common mistakes people make when it comes down to negotiating. Now there's a lot more out there. I'm just giving you 14 of them. Number one, letting your emotions get in the way when you're negotiating. Let me explain what I mean by this. It doesn't matter what it is, if a parent goes to school and is talking to a principal because their kid did something wrong, the parent always thinks their kids are perfect and they don't make mistakes because it's their product. The same when you're selling a house to somebody else, you always think your house is worth more than it really is because it's your house. You've been living in it for eight years, nine years. The market would generally tell you what your house is worth, what your car is worth, whatever you're selling. So you've got to figure out a way to put yourself out of the situation and kind of be a consultant looking in, instead of being somebody that's involved emotionally in it, where you don't typically end up negotiating in the proper way. So you can't let your emotions get into you, especially if the other person says, I think this thing's only worth $4,000. You think it's $10,000. You're absolutely furious. You may lose the deal there and you've got to kind of figure out what it is. Number two, misinterpretation of position. This is very important because sometimes you're talking to somebody and they say something and you get upset. They didn't mean what you thought they meant. So instead of getting upset, ask two or three or four more questions, probing questions to ask them what they mean by this. Do you mean this? Do you mean this? That's not at all what I'm saying. I'm saying this because of this. Oh, I didn't even think about that. Okay. No problem. But a lot of times, deals don't go through because there's not enough questions being asked because the two parties negotiating misinterpreted each other. So you've got to make sure you get a lot more questions there so this doesn't happen. Number three, research, research, research. Do as much research as you can. Let me give you a story here. We had a case where somebody contacted us. They wanted me to be in this documentary and oh, this documentary's going to have a Buddha in it and Tony Robbins, all this stuff. And it sounded so fancy. And we want you to be an associate producer and we're sitting there saying, wow, this is pretty exciting. So this is something where maybe we'll entertain and want to be a part of. Until we found out that the executive producer that was a part of it had had a major, major scandal, New York Times type of scandal that he was dealing with from a relationship with a younger girl, all this other stuff. The moment we found that out, we backed up and we said, we're not even doing any business with this. We almost did. We almost did because we didn't do research. So one of the things I want to tell you is this video is sponsored by Fiverr. And one of the things I love that Fiverr does, Fiverr offers a service where people will literally research any topic you want for you, they'll research any topic for you. So if you have a topic to say, hey, I'm getting ready to negotiate with this company, what can you find out about this company? What can you find out about the real estate market today? What can you find out about Bitcoin today? What can you find out about such and such today? Somebody will sit there and they'll research for you. And typically you can find out who does a better job. I normally recommend choosing three people if you really want some solid research. I'd rather pay three different people $50 a pop than use one person because I can figure out which one's doing a better research, then I'll go use that other person. So if you've never used Fiverr before, go try this service out. You can always go out there right now, have a relationship with them. If you use the coupon code PATBET, PATBET, you will get a 20% discount. So if it's $150, 20%, $30 off. So be sure to go use that service on researching for yourself on any topic you want to do. Number four, going to the source. I like to go to the source. I remember a long time ago when I was getting contracts with insurance companies. And I was constantly talking to all these VPs, vice presidents. Oh yeah, we'll try to get a deal for you. Oh yeah, we'll try to get a deal for you. And then all of a sudden I said, you know what? I'm going straight to the source. I found that every insurance company CEO, I found that all of these guys are human beings like you and I. They have a LinkedIn. They have a contact information. They know people that have information that I know. So I reached out to them. Eventually I got a hold of these CEOs. Direct phone. I spoke to them. I said, listen, here's who I am. Here's what I'm looking for. I'm looking for a contract. I just started a company. I like your company. When can we get together and talk? Can you come here tomorrow? Yes. I flew to Chicago, struck up a deal with a CEO, came back. We had an insurance company to work with, because I went directly to the source. Many times you've got to go straight to the source. Number five, leverage. Let me tell you what I mean by leverage. Leverage is knowing who has the leverage. I've seen people negotiate with people as if they have the power and they don't. Let me explain. So let's just say me and a bank are having a problem here together. The bank has given me $50 million for my business. The bank is absolutely upset with me. We want our $50 million. We've given you $50 million and this is our $50 million? If they push me to the edge, I can file bankruptcy, they'll lose $50 million. So they need to understand leverage there. They need to make sure I stay in business. Because if I stay in business, I can pay them back. That is leverage right there. So you need to know your position of leverage. Not just necessarily going in there and pounding your fist on the table and saying, this is what I demand from you. If you don't have proper leverage, it will work against you. Number six, not listening. It's pretty simple. Sometimes the whole thing about misinterpretation, the more you listen, you'll start seeing signs and you'll start seeing exactly what's important to them and you'll start seeing what they're not willing to negotiate with and that will help you get to the final decision sooner. Number seven, knowing when to walk away and when not to walk away. I will tell you from personal mistakes, I have sometimes walked away way too early and it cost me millions of dollars. And I have sometimes walked away too late and it cost me a lot of hours. From experience, you'll generally make this thing tighter, where you'll be able to save more money, make more money and save more time and make more time to do other things. But there are times where you're into it and you may not like somebody. Or you may not like something that was said. But that doesn't mean you're not going to do business with them. Unpeel it a little bit more, and all of a sudden, something could happen. Sometimes patience is important. Many times you can tell a deal and say, look, we were just doing a deal and I told the guy, I said, listen, I want to do this deal, but I'm not going to do it based on these guidelines. If you have something better, honestly, go. I'm just here waiting. If you want to do something like this, I'm open. Then we came back two months later and we ended up doing a deal, because we were patient about it. So you need to know your position where you're at with that. Number eight, too extreme, too soft, too hard. You push too hard. You're too soft. If you're too soft, you're showing a weak position. Maybe your product's not as good. If you're too hard, maybe the other person says this person's going to be difficult to do business with. So you've got to kind of figure out a way to be balanced with them while you're dealing with them. Number nine, understanding the personality. I was doing a negotiation with this one guy, he's a $100 million guy, two weeks ago. And we're on a call. He interrupts me three times on a call. Now I don't mind it, but he interrupts me three times. So when he interrupted me three times, I interrupted him and I said, listen, I just hope you understand I have zero problem if you interrupt me. But I hope you also don't have a problem if I interrupt you. He says, I have no problem with that. Our relationship was so good because we both understood what level we're comfortable with, and the negotiation went well. There are people that will not even interrupt you until you're done with your sentence, and then you've got to know they're expecting the same thing in return. So sometimes you've got to read personalities when you're negotiating on whether some people are more sensitive than others. When you're dealing with more sensitive people, if you still want the deal to get done, you've got to be able to read that other human being better. Number ten, letting people know how you do business. I told this guy, Mario told me, reminded me this yesterday, two days ago, he says, Pat, you probably said this line hundreds of times in meetings. I'll sit with somebody I'm doing business with, and I want a long term relationship with them. I'll tell them, I said, listen, I'm not looking for a one night stand. I'm done with one night stands. I'm looking for marriage. If you want to marry me, why don't we start dating, and then from there possibly we'll put a ring on each other, and then one day we'll get married. But I'm looking for a marriage, not a one night stand. What are you looking for? I also want a marriage. But why don't we start solving around this, on how we can make this relationship last a long time. So you make millions. We make millions. Are you okay with that? Yes. So explain to people how you do business with people. Number 11, caring too much. This kind of goes a little bit into the emotion side. When you care too much about the deal because you have it personal, many times a deal may not get done just because you care way too much about the deal. 12, focusing only on the money. There are a lot of negotiating books out there that want you to get all the money and all this other stuff. And listen, I play that card as well, where it's all about how much of the money I'm going to get myself. But then what happens in this case is that person walks away. I said this on a call the other day. I told this guy, I said, listen, if we do business, two months later I realize you got the better end of the deal, you're not going to get the better version of me. So what do you want to do? And he says, yeah, you're right, Pat. That kind of does make sense. Well, what can we do for you not to feel that way? I said, this is my number. And he says, well, that's kind of fair. I said, well, I want to be able to do this. He said, can you give me this other part? What about if I want this part? I said, that's no problem to me, but I want you to make sure that here's what I'm looking for. So negotiating just for the money, there are some freedoms and some other things you can negotiate that may be important to you or to them that's more important than the money part. So don't always just leave it on the money side. Number 13, trying to beat the other person. I had somebody that we had in our lives two years ago. Every conversation with her, she had to win. Like literally, it was only about beating you in the conversations. I stopped talking. I'm just sitting there saying, what do you want me to talk to you about? What other conversation do you want to win? Do you want to win another one? Keep winning. There's no point of negotiating with this person or even trying to have a relationship with this person, because it was always about beating the other person. It was always about winning the argument. And there's not a lot that you can do with that part. So when negotiating with people, you've got to know, it can't just be about beating the other person. It's about I want to keep doing business and this person's going to talk to five other people. I want them to come back and want to do business with me. Number 14, not seeking other options. Every time somebody at the home office comes up to me with a deal, Pat, this is going to cost us $100,000. This is going to cost us $600,000. This is going to cost us $50,000. No matter what deal they ever come to me with, I always ask one question. How many other options do we have? Do we have three options? If it's only one option, no, it's not enough. I want three. I always want three options on a house I want to buy. Three options for a vacation home I'm looking at. Three options for a car I want to buy. Three options for a technology we want to do. Three options for a person we want to hire. Three options for somebody we're bringing in. Everything is about three options. When I have three options, I can say, decipher through the three and say, this is the one I want to go with, not the other two. So you want to have options when you're negotiating. It gives you leverage. And last but not least, I had this on this side here. Knowing your BATNA, which is Best Alternative to Negotiate Agreement. Here's what that means. It means here the guy offers me $10,000. I know in the back of my mind I've got $11,000, somebody else wants to do it. So my number is $11,000. He has to do above $11,000 for me to do business with him. In the back of my mind, my BATNA is $11,100, let's just say. I'm walking away because I've got an $11,000 deal. So I know my conversation with this is not a big challenge. Because if it doesn't happen, I've got $11,000 waiting for me. In anything you're doing, always know your BATNA. And the more BATNA, the more clear you are with your BATNA, it gives you leverage when you're negotiating with whoever you are negotiating with. So having said that, by the way, there are a lot of other things when it comes down to negotiation with mistakes. This is just a simple short video for you to be thinking about on some of the things you may be doing that you can adjust. And remember, last but not least, Fiverr. Pat Bet, 20% off on any of the services you use with Fiverr. If you've got any questions, thoughts, comments about this video, comment on the bottom. And if you haven't subscribed to the channel yet, click here to subscribe, and click the alert button to be part of the notification squad. Take care, everybody. Bye-bye.