Speaker 1: So you've got this script you're really excited about it, but the dialogue just isn't working Good news. I Love dialogue and I want to help you out. Hey friends. Welcome back to my channel if you're new here, my name is Megan I'm an aspiring TV writer and I have provided feedback on dozens and dozens of scripts which has taught me so much about how to make them work and What might be hurting you in your script? I am somebody who loves dialogue It is one of the most natural parts of writing for me and even before I wrote scripts It was my favorite part of the writing process And it's also the part of my writing that I most consistently get compliments on so I kind of wanted to do like a script dialogue master class and dive into different parts of dialogue why something might be working or Not working the just digging deep So, if you guys want to see any specific aspects of dialogue, let me know in the comments so I can build out an entire video around it. If you want to see this series kind of go further into other elements of scripts, let me know because I can certainly make this a larger thing, but only if you guys want to see it. Let's jump into it. Today, I want to talk to you guys about things that you might be doing in your scripts that that are just not making the dialogue work, that are making the dialogue not stick out or stick out for all the wrong reasons. Your script is how you're connecting your story to your audience. And dialogue is the most direct way that you're able to present that story to your audience. You have control over other things, but the most direct way that you communicate with your audience is through the dialogue. So you wanna make sure that your dialogue is supporting the story you want to tell and serving that story as best as it can. Today, I wanna talk about the things that may not be working in your script and why. Because I find for myself personally that if I understand why something is a problem, how it's not working, the analysis of it, and just the deeper reasons why something is the way it is, I can move forward so much clearer and so much easier. If I fix the dialogue in a scene, it's not helping me in the next scene without understanding what wasn't working at the root level. The first thing that always sticks out to me in a script is if you are constantly mentioning the characters' names in the dialogue. First of all, it just feels like you're trying to introduce the characters and not being creative in how you do that. It also, we don't walk around saying, hey Megan, hey Veronica, hey Vanessa, hey Jessica. Like, people don't just walk around like that And when they do, it's not done super frequently. And I think there's an important difference between natural dialogue in real life and natural dialogue on a screen. They're very different forms of speech and they serve different purposes. They require different balances and different skills. So if you're trying to replicate social dialogue for screen dialogue's purposes, you might be missing the mark. And if I'm honest, you probably are. The whole idea of why mentioning the name is an issue kind of bleeds into the next problem, which is way too much exposition in your dialogue. If your dialogue, and this usually happens most in the beginning of a script, is just rattling off what the story is, it feels written. It feels like I am reading something someone wrote, which does not have me immersed in the story, which is what you want your audience to be. And I'm not saying to never have exposition in your dialogue. It's not realistic and it doesn't, it's not a useful piece of advice. But if your dialogue is overloaded with exposition, that's going to create a big issue and it's going to create a block between your dialogue and your story. And on the other side behind all of that is your audience. Now, going back to the point of social dialogue and dialogue for the screen, when we talk to each other in person, we exchange pleasantries. Hi, how are you? Oh, I'm good, how are you? How are things with Bill? All of those things. Now, there are many different reasons that that's not appropriate for screen dialogue. One, it's really a waste of time and space. We are accustomed to those greetings. We're accustomed to those things. it kind of becomes background noise. And when you're looking at a story, you don't need the fluff, you don't need the background noise. So from an audience perspective, like it pulls their attention away because they're used to these things. They've heard these things before. This isn't anything really important. So if you're going to include something like that, be really, really sure that it has a very important purpose for your overall story and for what's being communicated. That needs to be done really intentionally. The other reason that's a problem to have that extra time in there is because filming is very expensive. Think about what it takes to film. Think about all of the hundreds of people that are on a set. They're all paid for the time that's spent there. There are so many different things that factor into the financial cost of anything being filmed. You don't wanna be wasting time. You know, there are certain things you can't help you have to do different takes or things it cut out in post But things like hey, hi. Hello. What are you doing? Oh, I'm not doing much. What are you doing? That is a place where you can automatically know it's not gonna be worth your time again Unless you have a specific purpose for it. So cut those things out of your script That's the first thing to go through your script and do is cut that out. I've talked about this before I'm gonna talk about this again and again because I think that it's something Really easy to mess up and that's being super preachy in your dialogue Again, really in your whole strips, but it happens a lot in dialogue I know it's a bit of a confusing thing to say But when it's really really clear that a writer is trying to get across a point a perspective Even when I agree with that perspective as soon as that happens I'm taking out of the story. Sometimes it works. I'm not gonna say it never ever works. Of course, it's worked in many stories but when I'm reading a script from a competition or something like that the amount of times it works is Tiny and in the grand scheme of things even in produced films It's not the kind of thing that you see all the time because it's very rarely works. Well, it puts pressure on your audience it doesn't allow the audience to form their own conclusions. I guess the best way to kind of talk about this is, you know when you're in school and your English teacher is having you read Shakespeare or whatever and she's saying well why is the cape red? Right? Whatever. There's no one answer. You can use the context of the era that the writer grew up in, what happened in their family life in their personal life, whatever you can use. There's a lot of context. You can use the context of the piece that you're analyzing to come up with reasons why the author would have either consciously or subconsciously made the cape red. But in reality, there's no one conclusive answer. Even if the author is given a conclusive answer, there's so much opportunity for exploration and subjectivity in literary analysis. And that's kind of the same as whether people realize they're doing it or not. When you watch something, we're analyzing it in our own way. We may not be doing it in the most professional way or the most detailed way, but our brain is analyzing what we watch. And if we're given the path that we're supposed to go on and if we're told how we're supposed to feel about it it boxes in and I don't think our brains like that I don't think we like to be told this is the only path and I think that you can incorporate context that brings things in a certain direction but when you start forcing the the audience see things a certain way and only leave room for that interpretation, you've really minimized the impact your story can have. Another thing that can really take apart your dialogue is if you don't have enough subtext. And that can mean that you're just being too direct. It can mean that you're just saying every single thing. So for example, if your characters are constantly just saying how they feel, that doesn't leave a lot of room for subtext. And I know that sometimes, you know, we try to do things a little bit differently because why can't the characters just talk about how they feel rather than being passive aggressive or whatever, but if you're constantly just expressing how people feel, one, where's the story, right? There needs to be tension and drama to move things along. But on top of that, it doesn't allow the story develop for itself, similar to the issue of being preachy, it leads the audience one way. It doesn't let the audience understand things on their own terms and in their own way. And even if, again, you're leading to one place, leaving room for the audience to understand it personally, with their own context of their own life allows them to connect with it so much deeper and having that subtext allows for a much more interesting story, it allows for a lot more layers to come in, it allows the audience to almost have an internal communication with your story that exists in such a unique way and by not incorporating that subtext you take away that opportunity and I think sometimes too. It makes the audience feel like you don't trust them to understand your story, which doesn't leave anybody feeling good. This one is like nails on a chalkboard to me. When I open up a script and it is like majority action and description, my first reaction is, oh no. And don't get me wrong, sometimes it's like that at some points, but it works for the story. I'm not saying again that this never works, but like I said earlier, your dialogue is what you have the most control over in communicating your story to the audience. Dialogue is a massively important element of your script, so if you're not putting the appropriate focus on it, are you writing a script or are you writing a book that's being filmed? Does that make sense? Scripts come to life with their dialogue and it's such a disservice to the story to not give that its proper standing. Again, there are stories that benefit from other formats, but in the general sense, if you're focusing so much more on the description, the action, one, when you've got a reader, it can drag the pacing and make it really difficult to read, but also when you got something on screen, what is your audience experiencing? What is that experience for somebody watching your movie or show or whatever else you've written? Are they just staring at a silent screen? What's happening there? That's everything I want to say about dialogue for today. I hope this was a helpful video and let me know again if there's anything else in this series or an expansion of this series that you want to see. If you like this video, go ahead and give it a thumbs up. And if you want to see anything else, let me know in the comments. If you're new to my channel, make sure you subscribe and press the notification bell so you don't miss any of my new videos I post weekly. Thank you so much for watching. I'll see you next week. Bye.