Top Do's and Don'ts for a Successful Divorce Mediation Process (Full Transcript)

Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Ellen Wright. I'm a family law attorney and certified divorce mediator from Exhale Divorce Mediation in the Wright Family Law Group in Tewksbury. Divorce mediation is a process where separating spouses meet with a divorce mediator to assist them in resolving the issues involved in their divorce, keeping the case out of court. Mediation is a great option for divorcing spouses who want to keep conflict to a minimum, but maintain control over their situation, keeping their case out of the hands of a judge. The following are some top do's and don'ts that we recommend people follow to keep the divorce mediation process on track and to keep it as stress-free as possible. Number one, do be prepared. Make sure that you attend your divorce mediation sessions with your financial paperwork filled out and having a firm handle on what your income, assets, and liabilities are. Organize your thoughts in order to establish the key points that you want to discuss during the sessions. Number two, know what you want. Go into your mediation with a plan. You need to have a plan. Think about what is most important to you and have a proposal for what you think is most reasonable under the circumstances. Be prepared to have a logical, well-reasoned argument to support your position. Also try to focus on any mutual benefits that might be had from the deal. Number three, stay at it. Remember that you and your spouse came to work out a deal because you want to stay out of family court. Stick to it and have faith in the mediation process. At some point, it can be tempting to give up instead of remaining focused on the objective, so it's important to be patient. Mediating with your soon-to-be ex-spouse may not be easy, but it's going to be worth it. Resist the temptation to rush the process and quit. Now here are a few of our don'ts for a successful divorce mediation. Number one, don't blame the other spouse. Mediation is not marriage counseling. The purpose of mediation is not to try to investigate and find the truth about why the marriage broke down and who is to blame. Avoid the temptation to rehash old arguments in order to assign fault. Trying to repeatedly assign blame is likely to derail the mediation process. Number two, don't use your phone. Using your phone during the divorce mediation sessions is disrespectful to the divorce mediator and suggests to your spouse that you're not invested in the process. Plan your day so that you won't be getting phone calls and text messages during the divorce mediation sessions. Better yet, turn your phone off altogether if you're able to. Number three, don't lose your temper. No matter how much you despise your spouse or how angry you are, you must maintain your cool during the mediation sessions. Don't yell or act hostile. Remember that you're there to attack the issues in your divorce, not each other. If you want more tips and tricks on how to make your divorce mediation a success, download our complimentary free e-guide today. Also, feel free to reach out to us on our website at exhaledivorcemediation.com or give us a call at 978-851-8300 to schedule your free, no obligation divorce mediation consult today.