Speaker 1: Supererogatory, supererogatory, that's a, that's a big word. That's easily the best personal statement I've ever read. Hey guys, welcome back to the channel. My name's Shane and I'm a recently qualified doctor and neuroscience supervisor at Cambridge University. And today I'm going to be analyzing my friend, Asaid's personal statement in depth. So to give you guys a bit of background on Asaid, he's a recently qualified doctor from Cambridge University. He's in my year, goes to Downing College and we've known each other for the past six years. He's consistently ranked within the top three of the whole university and he's probably one of the smartest people I know. So it's only fitting that I analyze Asaid's personal statement as one of the first as part of a personal statement course that I'm developing over on Skillshare. That course is going to cover a carefully designed eight pillar framework to help organize your thinking. And it'll also feature lessons on how to reflect well, how to structure your introduction, main body and conclusion, as well as featuring five example personal statements that I personally have broken down and analyzed. And the best thing about the course is that it's going to be completely free with a two month free trial at Skillshare. Now with that shameless plug out of the way, let's get into it. Let's first begin by breaking down the personal statement into its structural components. So the whole personal statement is about 620 words long. And for the introduction, he's dedicated about 25 words that works out to be around 4%. For the work experience section, Asaid's dedicated 55% of the words, 27% of the words for academia, 7% of the words for extracurricular activities and finally 6% of the words for the conclusion. Right, now let's dive into the introduction. Okay, so the first paragraph. In medicine, I see a purposeful and versatile vocation. Yet what I love most is its fusion of a scientific core with a philanthropic heart. This perfectly follows the introduction formula that I've been suggesting. It clearly lays out the motivation to do medicine and why it's such a great subject. He links his academic interest by talking about the scientific core with the personal opportunity that doing medicine will bring him. And there's clear use of passion throughout with words like love. And Asaid's also used a very nice writing style which almost personifies medicine to an extent. This strategy in particular is gonna help him stand out from the crowd. Okay, so this personal statement seamlessly transitions into the next section which is about the work experience. But we normally suggest that he should include some sentences about engagement within the introduction itself. Now this works because the second section of the introduction which is all about engagement is essentially talking about a degree of work experience. And because the first part of the main body is work experience, there's a good flow. This is why the structure that I suggest allows you to tell a story and flow from one section to another seamlessly. Right, so this is the first part of his main body which is all to do with work experience. Last year, my work experience at Dow University Hospital in Karachi was one of the most interesting yet exhausting experiences of my life. And although it was both emotionally and physically demanding, it instilled in me a resolute desire to study and practice medicine. That sentence was great at showing deliberation and consideration of the challenges that medicine will bring. And by talking about this work experience, he's showing that he's engaged with medicine and actually gone out of his way to learn more about it. And he's also used a good amount of reflection here where he's extracted the lessons he's learnt and he talks about how it's made him more resolute going forwards. So moving on but still staying within the work experience section, here I was inspired by the altruistic concern of specialists who offered supererogatory, supererogatory, that's a big word, but I looked it up and it means doing a morally good thing that's above and beyond what's expected of you. Anyway, going on, supererogatory, reduced rate evening appointments for those in financial difficulty. This led me to qualify in basic life support and volunteer both at the Marlott's Hospice and in a geriatric ward where I feed patients whilst keeping them company. Although engaging with terminally ill and infirm patients has shown me the reality of medicine, I feel that doctors hold a great privilege in supporting them and their families at such a difficult time. These sentences are again great at demonstrating his work experiences and they show plenty of reflection. They essentially tell the reader, hey, I care so much about medicine that I've gone away to engage with it and learn more about it and I've considered it deeply and I've arrived at the decision that it's still for me. Still sticking with work experience, he goes on to say, throughout my placements, I have been able to empathize with patients and speak with doctors, developing my understanding of the importance of the holistic care that the multidisciplinary team provides. At the Royal Sussex County Hospital, I witnessed a knee replacement and was captivated by the surgical precision in fixing the prosthesis. In addition, the surgeon's patients, when teaching trainees, stress the vital role of doctors as teachers. I decided to develop these skills by providing ICT lessons for the elderly. Now this is a brilliant sentence. It really shows his usability by drawing out the key qualities that he has. And doing this is something that most people struggle with because, well, we don't really know how to reflect well. But it's actually quite straightforward. Reflection is all about attracting a lesson and seeing how an experience has changed you and how you will act differently going forwards. And Eseid does this really well both in the first and last sentences, especially where he talks about the role of doctors as teachers and how he went on to provide ICT lessons for the elderly. Moving on, I feel that the skills for communicating with a limited vocabulary are akin to the skills for explaining complex concepts, something I had learned through my study of AS Spanish this year. Now this sentence alludes to how his A-level subjects have given him key qualities that are gonna be useful in medicine, especially in regards to his communication skills. Now, you could argue that this should have been put maybe in the academic section just to keep things tidy. This is a perfect example of how we should use the structures that people give us as more of a guide and not be afraid to shift things around if they flow better in a different order. Here, the example of AS Spanish fits really well within the work experience section because it shows communication and that's what he was talking about previously. So this is a great example of another type of structuring where you structure things based on key quality rather than what the activity type is. Okay, so moving on to the final bit about the work experience. As a GP practice, I noticed how clear communication between primary and secondary care through detailed referral letters allows effective ongoing care. Moreover, I helped comfort children in a dedicated immunization clinic, which impressed upon me the role of a doctor to care for the whole community, not just the individual. Again, this is a great demonstration of showing engagement with medicine and also showing he understands what are the important key qualities that make up a good doctor. And the last bit shows that he has an awareness of an important concept in medicine, which is public health. And that refers to doctors caring for a community of people rather than just the individual. Right, moving on to the academic section next. In Mukherjee's, The Emperor of Al-Maladi's, The Perseverance of Individuals, such as Sidney Farber, the development of the cure for acute lymphoblastic leukemia inspired me to write an essay on the subject that won the school science essay prize. I found this particularly interesting as I analyzed primary research papers for the first time. Now, this is a great demonstration of engaging with the academic side of medicine and especially talking about supracurricular activities, which is where you go beyond the A-level curriculum, but still learn and read about things to do with medicine. Now, this type of supracurricular engagement is exactly what Oxbridge is after. They put massive emphasis on academics and especially this supracurricular, getting involved in extra things outside of your curriculum, but still related to the academic side of your subject. Moving on, additionally, Mukherjee highlighted how randomized control trials underpin evidence-based medicine. For this reason, I took the initiative to study further maths in my spare time, covering statistical models crucial for medical research. I also took the Cambridge Chemistry Challenge and was ranked first nationally. I thoroughly enjoyed the residential camp where I learned more about pharmacology. These sentences showed that he has a real appreciation for academia and the science, especially when he talks about randomized control trials. However, the second sentence, even though it talks about a really great supracurricular achievement, he really doesn't develop it further by saying what kind of skills he gained out of it. And really, there's no reflection here. So to make things even better, he could have followed the structure that we suggest, which is essentially give an example, link it to equality, reflect on it, and then link back to the subject. Here's the final bit on academics. Furthermore, I regularly read the New England Journal of Medicine for articles on ethics and topical issues, leading me to organize debates under my elected role as debating secretary, which have developed my ability to take prudent decisions under pressure. I've therefore helped to resurrect the college debating society and have led my team to the Oxford Union School's debating national finals. Again, he gives more examples of supracurricular activities which Oxbridge absolutely loved. And importantly, here he is linking them to key qualities, such as decision-making under pressure. Now let's move on to the extracurricular part of his personal statement. Outside of my academic life, I find that music and tennis help me relax and I have been able to balance my preparation for a piano diploma and gold Duke of Edinburgh with my pastoral role as a school prefect, allowing me to develop my prioritization skills. This is a very efficient sentence that utilizes several of the space saver strategies that we discussed, especially activity compounding, where he's managed to group together several activities to communicate the same ideas with fewer words. And importantly, he still links all of these activities to key qualities. And now finally, the conclusion. Through my work experience, I realized that medicine can be a challenging job, demanding sacrifices. Nevertheless, once given the opportunity, I know I have the motivation and capacity to succeed in this rewarding and intellectually fulfilling vocation. Now this conclusion nicely follows the formula that we've suggested, which is to summarize the key qualities and show passionate projection by weighing up the demands of medicine, but still deciding it's worth it. Now, if you're looking for more advice on how to write your personal statement, then definitely check out this video. And if you're interested in the personal statement masterclass that I'm developing, then feel free to click the link below where you can download a free personal statement guide, which will tell you exactly when the personal statement masterclass is out. And like I mentioned, it's gonna be the most in-depth, online personal statement video course out there. And it's gonna be completely free for you to use through Skillshare's two-month free trial. If you've enjoyed this video, don't forget to like and smash that subscribe button. But that's it from me for today. And I'll see you guys next time.