Speaker 1: You meet a young person who is your client and they have exactly like two clients and not going anywhere. But they're like, I'm not changing for nobody. I'm not compromising nothing. And they're starving and they can't put food on the table. And they've taken not your idea, but just this idea that you never compromise. It's unbending, unyielding. How do you help

Speaker 2: this person or do you need to help them? It becomes part of their brand. If they decide that they're not going to shift in any shape, form or fashion, then they're going to have to learn to attract people who are similarly drawn to someone like that. I want somebody that's going to stand 10 toes down in their shit and not move for anything. So you have to learn to build a brand around how can I attract people that won't ask me to move? And then when they do, you have to make sure that line that you've drawn in the sand, that you stick to it. Because once you cross it, everybody else that saw you like, oh, you punked out. See, you was faking and shaking. And this is why I lean so much in the authenticity, because I don't want you to have to cross that line. Sweetie, put your cards on the table and let the chips fall where they may. And then that way you don't have to worry about the code switching and the people pleasing. Now, if you decide that, oh, well, you know what? They're going to give me a million dollars. I'm going to fake and shake my ass off. But then the other people, once they

Speaker 1: see that, they're not going to respect you anymore. You use the word, a phrase, code switching. What

Speaker 2: does that mean? In black folks language, we used to always talk about, oh, you're talking white. You're trying to sound white. And so your language changes, all that vernacular that you hear, and that ghetto country and all that kind of stuff, it suddenly becomes very polite. And you pronounce all the words and you put all the INGs on the end of everything. And so you code switch. For somebody that's, say, nerdy, all of a sudden you're trying to roll out a pimp game. And it's like, sweetie, your pimp game is weak because we know what's under all that Maybelline. This does not work for you. Why are you trying it? Why are you trying to code switch? Because you think it makes you look cooler. If cool is not your thing, then brand over here for the nerves and go make your money. You don't have to fake and shake for somebody else. It's all about, sweetie, what is relevant and conducive to you showing up as your best self. When you feel like you have to code switch and you have to put on a different language, a different hat, a different vibe, then you have now made yourself uncomfortable in order to make everybody else comfortable. And you should never do that.

Speaker 1: How do you distinguish between that and respecting the rules of the house? Like when I travel, there's a lot of different cultures. And Americans have a bad reputation around the world as being loud and obnoxious. Like, garçon, give me this, do this. Because we're used to a certain level of service in America. And when we go to other places, they don't run things that way. And you're now not only in their house, you're in their freaking country. Learn to speak their language. And so are we code switching then? I mean, take for example, Japan is pretty extreme. They have very specific customs. And if you don't abide by them, it's a huge no-no. And it's a giant thing of disrespect. They have a tremendous amount of respect for each other. So when you're in the subway, they ask you not to eat, not to talk on the phone and to mind your manners. So if you're going to be there talking loud, playing music and eating a taco or something like that, not that you would in Japan, but now you're like disrupting a lot of people's flow. But if you're like, I'm going to be a hundred percent myself, how does that fit in? You know, Japan has a custom of bowing, a lot of respect and gestures. They're pretty harmless, but you should try to play by their rules or should you not? What do you think?

Speaker 2: I think you should. Because here's the thing. And like I say, being the ghetto country grandmother is one thing. Phyllis, y'all would be surprised how quiet Phyllis actually is. When I went to Singapore, it was that kind of mindset that, and because I only lean into my empathy and not empathic bitch, I'm mother on everybody. When I went, I stayed at, what's the hotel? Marina Bay Sands. And so I was on the concierge floor. They got to know me so well. By the time I got up there, my drink was on my table and they knew that they wanted me to try something new and different. Sweetie, it's a matter of respecting your house. And like I told them, my sweetheart, when I call people sweetheart, it does not discriminate. It doesn't care about age. It doesn't care about gender. It doesn't care about culture. Sweetie, you my sweetheart. And so when I come in that room, trust and believe my sweetheart is always with me. So when I'm in somebody else's country or in somebody else's house, unless you tell me that, you know what? Don't call me sweetheart. I don't like that. All right. I'll call you by your name. So I'm still being Phyllis, but now I'm true on Phyllis. My mama taught, told me to respect my elders, respect other people's things. Keep your hands to yourself. That's also Phyllis. So it's not that I'm switching up or I'm cold switching. This is how my mama raised me. And then my mom was still alive. And even at 57, she would whoop my ass. Get your ass in the house and stop acting stupid. So it's all you, but you get to, like I say, you get to set the boundaries around how much you're going to put out there. And so a lot of people are attracted to this side of me. And it's something that actually Neil brought out in me because he was, baby, people like you. I'm like, why? I don't like being around a lot of people. I am very quiet and to myself and I'm reading and all of that. But when I go out, I see people. So yeah, I see you. What's wrong? Whose ass we need to go kick? And they'll start laughing. Like, no, I'm okay. You sure? Because I got you. And I don't have a problem doing that. I see somebody happy. What are we jumping about? What are we happy about? I'm there with you.